“Yes, I eat. Ty is the best chef you can imagine.”
“Good. You’re too thin! Are you coming over for Christmas? Nick dressed the house, and I’m afraid it might be visible from space.”
I chuckled, recalling the pictures Mel sent me last year. The cottage resembled Santa’s grotto with hundreds of colourful lights, decorations and half of Santa’s reindeers standing on the lawn.
“I don’t think that far ahead.”
The truth was I thought about Christmas every day, wondering whether it would be safe to leave Adrian for a week. I wanted to spend time with Nick and Amelia, but I was scared of facing Thomas.
“It’s less than three weeks away. You can bring Adrian if you want.”
Not in a million years. Adrian carried a lot of guilt in him that wasn’t subsiding with time. Despite my threat to leave if he would confess to Nick, Adrian still tried to convince me that my brother should know about the abuse. He thought he deserved to be hated—I didn’t. He fought his addiction and worked hard to earn my trust.
“No, we’ll sit this one out,” I said, gritting my teeth. “How is Thomas?”
It was our weekly routine. She tried to get a date out of me when I would come home, and I asked about Thomas.
A frown was her first answer, and it alarmed me just a little. During the last four months the answer to my question about him gradually got better. At first Mel was reluctant to share, but as the time went on, and Thomas started to move on, she became more prone to share information. I knew he worked like crazy and made peace with what happened between us. It hurt to know he was over me, but I was glad that I didn’t ruin him.
Too bad I ruined myself.
“Same old, same old,” Mel said, glancing over her laptop and making eyes at someone—probably Nick.
And surely, two seconds later, my brother’s face appeared next to Mel’s. “Hey sis, how are you? Everything good?”
I poured another shot, biting my cheek. “Don’t brush me off. Can you tell me how he is, or is it a secret?”
Nick cringed. “He’s good. Busy with work, and… He’s seeing someone. They’re coming over tonight.”
Oh.
“They’re not dating,” Mel elbowed Nick with a stern look. “They met a few days ago, but…”
“Hey,” I cut in, “it’s okay. It’s what I wanted for him all along. He deserves to be happy with someone without the ugly baggage I carry.”
“Am I the ugly baggage?”
Adrian asked, and my heart rate picked up its pace. He stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame, his dark eyes full of sadness. It was December, but he didn’t seem to feel the cold, parading around the streets in a hoodie as if it weren’t close to zero degrees Celsius.
“Hey, I didn’t hear you come in.”
He came closer and sat down beside me, waving at Mel and Nick, then pecked my temple.
“You didn’t answer my question, puppet. Am I the ugly baggage?”
“No, my past is. My issues are.”
He didn’t buy it.
“Should we like…go?” Mel chirped, trading glances with Nick.
“No, finish what you were talking about,” Adrian insisted, the tone of his voice almost normal.
Almost. He could fool the world, but I knew him too well to believe that the mentioning of Thomas didn’t hurt him. We hadn’t talked about him too much. Adrian had no idea how serious it was. I protected him from distressing information, afraid that he would slip.
“Nadia said you’re getting back in shape with all that boxing stuff,” Mel lied, offering a smooth change of subject.
“Did she now? Well, my coach has a different take on that. He says I’m so out of shape that it’s quite sad, but it didn’t stop him from setting up a sparring match for this weekend. It should be fun for Nadia to watch someone smash my face.”