Not that it mattered. The only thing I cared about as far as that went was that he was here. I hadn’t lost him. And I was going to do everything in my power to make sure things stayed that way.
I hadn’t been in game since I was suspended. Staying away had hurt, but being back was its own kind of ache. Link had refused to give me the information I wanted, so I went around him and asked Danny. He only helped me under the explicit condition that no one find out, especially Luna.
It was tempting to tease him about being afraid of a little pixie, but I liked Luna, and I was obsessed enough with Fallyn to do this, so I didn’t have any room to talk.
I found B1tchKw33n—bitch queen—farming resources on an isolated part of the game map.
The instant I moved closer to her character, she stopped her harvesting.
“Stay.” I’d hijacked her audio, too. I doubted she was going to be happy with that.
Fallyn’s familiar sigh echoed through my headset. “Puff96? Did you even try to hide who you were?”
“Nope. Not even for a second. Do you think they won’t shut you down for skirting the profanity filters?” I winced at the harshwords. This was the opposite of how I wanted this conversation to go.
Another sigh from her. “Breaking the game. Cheating. That’s what I do, right? Whoring around. Falling for the wrong guys. Is this what I have to look forward to every time I log into the game? Are you harassing me?”
“No. I knew you wouldn’t take my calls or emails, though.”
“That should’ve been a sign.” Her voice was tight.
Fuck. I’d screwed this up so hard. “If you don’t want to talk to me, I’ll go. You can even block me. I’ll take the hint and won’t make new accounts to get to you.”
“No offense,Puff, but you’re not the most believable person right now. It’s your game. You can find me whenever you want.”
Of course she’d think that of me. What had I done to make her feel differently? Her mistrust hurt as much as what I was about to say, and that wasn’t right. “It’s probably not my game anymore.”
Her silence should’ve been gratifying. “What do you want?”
“Not to fight. Not to throw shade or exchange insults or do anything like that. I want to apologize. I’ll tell you I’m sorry as many times as it takes. I’m so sorry.”
“Nope. Blocked.” She vanished from my screen.
31/
fallyn
Hiding from Elliot felt like giving up, and I hated myself for not being strong enough to stare him down until he was the one who backed off. Even in digital form. I also hated myself for not hearing him out. And then I hated myself for giving this so much brain power.
Elliot was right, he had won. In so many ways.
But did he? He sounded sincere just now. His apology.It’s probably not my game anymore.
Why did I care? Why was I still thinking about him? Because part of me thought every cruel narcissist who stuck their dick in me could be healed?
Elliot’s not like the others.
Great. Now my own brain was taking his side.
When Link called me a few hours later, I was still chasing my tail about whether or not I was right to block Elliot and walk away. It was going to be obvious I was upset, but I answered anyway. I needed that comfort.
“Tell me what’s wrong.” He didn’t even bother withare you all right? Link had a way of seeing through the bullshit. Of understanding me. It was one of the things I adored about him. One of the reasons I was falling for him.
I wasn’t sure how to frame this, so I grabbed the simple answer and tried to keep the emotion from my reply. “I was in game today. I decided to try it again, under a new name.”Because I missed it. Because it’s not fair I should have to give up what I love because of this. “And Elliot managed to find me.”
“Fuck.” Link’s response carried a startling punch. “I told him not to do that.”
Wait. That meant… “The two of you were talking about me?” This might be a drawback to myplease don’t talk about Elliotrequest.