“How’d it go?” Fallyn’s tentative question was a fist to my sternum.
I couldn’t do this again. I couldn’t care this much. I couldn’t let those walls down, and I wouldn’t go through the kind of pain I’d dealt with before.
Was that selfish of me?
Probably. Right now, it didn’t matter, because if I let myself keep feeling, I was going to collapse under the weight of it.
So I shut the flow of emotion off instead. Easy to do. I had a lot of practice. “You can stop.”
“I’m sorry?” Fallyn looked confused.
“You heard me. You can stop now.”
“Stop what?”
Don’t think. Don’t feel. Just talk. Instinct will take care of the rest.“The game. The bet. There’s no reason to keep playing, you lost.”
“I stopped playing days ago.” Fallyn rose, holding my gaze.
Of course she had. And I was the assho—
Nope. I was in the right. “Which is why you’ll never win. I didn’t fall for you, and you figured out that being Online Fallyn full time doesn’t serve you. You. Lose.”
She stalked toward me, expression blank.
Good. That made two of us.
Take it back. Say you’re sorry. Fix this before it’s too late.
It was already too late, and I didn’t want her in my life. One more person to cling to. One more person to make me vulnerable. Yet another reason to hurt when it ended, so I was going to put a stop to it now. There was nothing else to say, I’d made my point, so I stared back at Fallyn, unblinking.
She flinched first and turned away. “Fuck you.”
“Never again.”
She stormed from the room, and I couldn’t make myself move. My feet were frozen to the floor. For all I knew, I’d stay like this for eternity. Stone Elliot in the middle of a house I was never supposed to have.
I had no idea how much time passed when she returned. Five minutes. Ten. It didn’t matter. She was dragging her luggage behind her.
She didn’t so much as glance at me as she walked out of the house.
Good. It was better this way.
24/
link
Iknew what time Elliot’s meeting started, and I fully expected him to walk in fifteen minutes later as if nothing had happened, shout for an update, and tell us all to get back to work.
When Judith walked into the Dev room instead, I held my breath.
“Eyes on me.” Her voice carried through the room, and within seconds she had everyone’s attention. “Elliot will be out the rest of the week, at the board of directors’ request.”
“Shitty time to take a break.” Chris’s retort was full of derision.
Frustrated anger surged inside, and I clenched my fists.
“I assure you, he would be here if it was possible, and if anyone doesn’t know that”—she focused on Chris, and let the thought hang unfinished.