“I didn’t mean to fill you with doubt. That wasn’t the point. I just... I just wanted to... I wish I could help. I wish I could give you a guidebook. But I don’t have one. My relationship with Alex... We went into it thinking temporary.”
“Well, so did Wolf and I. Even more temporary than you and Alex were thinking, I imagine, considering he didn’t actually know me. Not the way that you and Alex knew each other.”
“True. But we also didn’t end up pregnant until later. Until we already decided.”
“I think I’m just using the pregnancy,” she said softly. “Because I wanted to be with him, anyway.”
“Do you feel bad about that?”
She shook her head. “No. Should I?”
“No. When you know, you know, Violet.”
“That’s just it, though. I don’t know. Except that I want him. Intensely. Wildly. And I feel like I will be absolutely devastated if I lose him. But I also feel like staying with him could be its own sort of devastation.”
“Well, yeah. That’s what being in a relationship with another person is. You can’t care about someone, or something, without there being fear and bad feelings just on the other side of the horizon. When something matters a lot to you, you want neutral. The idea of losing it is horrible. The alternative is unthinkable. That’s just how it is.”
“Oh. Maybe that’s why I’ve spent so much time not building extra connections. My family is enough.” She meant it as a joke, but it wasn’t a joke. It was true.
“No, Violet,” Clara said, squeezing her shoulder. “I wish there was an easier path. But I think it’s only easier before you’ve met the person. Then you can commit yourself to a life of isolation. As it is...you’re already at risk. You could turn away now, but it wouldn’t fix anything. Because you already know what it’s like to be with him. You’d miss him. Your heart would be broken.”
“Ugh. Stop being right.”
“Can’t,” Clara said. “Trust me. It bugs Alex, too.”
They went into the general store and were pleasantly surprised by a small selection of local produce, plus a great many quirky things. Clara insisted they buy bags of old Halloween candy and a tabletop Santa holding a bowl, which she said they could put the candy in, and it would also increase Wolf’s annoyance.
They decided on hamburgers for dinner, even though Clara had had one for lunch. And when Wolf returned home, they had a whole spread on the counter waiting to allow all three of them to build their own burgers. They had also made oven fries, and some cookies.
“Your ring is pretty,” Clara said as they arranged everything on the counter.
“Thank you,” Violet said, looking down at it. “He did a good job.”
Just then, the door opened, and Wolf came in.
“Oh,” he said. “I didn’t know we had company.”
“Wolf,” she said. “This is my...my friend Clara.”
“Who is also her aunt,” Clara said, smiling. “So you’re Wolf Garrett. I’ve heard a lot about you. From Violet, which was nice. And also some things from her dad. Not so nice.”
He grunted. “I bet.”
“Clara is going to stay here tonight,” Violet said. “I offered up the twin bed.”
He nodded slowly. “Okay.”
“And I’m going back to Copper Ridge with her tomorrow.”
“Okay,” he said, asking absolutely no follow-up questions.
She stewed on that, all through dinner. Clara made conversation about beekeeping, and bison, asking Wolf if they had ever considered taking on either animal.
“No,” he said.
“Why not? Bison really are great animals to raise. I mean, once you figure out how to keep them in the fencing. Those upgrades are a little bit of a headache, but it’s very popular meat.”
“I’m honestly fine with just standard cow,” Wolf said. “You can’t beat a good beefsteak.”