And he didn’t have to be asked twice. He kicked his boots off, pushed his pants and underwear down and stripped himself naked. He grabbed the waistband of her underwear and jerked them down, tearing them as he pulled them away from her body. And she gasped. He gripped her hips and lifted them up off the mattress, positioning himself at the entrance of her body, and pushing into her in one slick stroke. She gasped, arching against him, and he was lost.
All of his good intentions.
He gritted his teeth, trying to go slow, trying to make it good for her. Taking the time to tease her, where he knew she needed it. He lowered his head, pulling her nipple into his mouth and sucking hard. And she gasped. He said a prayer that all his hard-won skill wouldn’t fail him now.
He lifted her thigh and hitched it up over his hip, opening her up to him more, grinding himself against her. She shuddered. And he knew he was on the right track. Except it didn’t come from a vast array of knowledge of women.
But just wanting to please Violet.
Wanting to give her everything she deserved. Everything she should have. He was her only experience. And he could see now that... Well, there was no way in hell he was ever letting her have another one. There would be no other man for her. He couldn’t allow it. What he’d said to her when he left...when he told her to go find someone else. A lot of someone elses...
It was nonnegotiable. It wasn’t happening. Not now. Which meant he had to find a way to be the best. To be everything.
She shuddered beneath him, and he kissed her. Kissed her until they were both mindless. Until he lost his cool. Until he lost his rhythm. Until he was just at the mercy of this thing, a storm, tossed by it as she was. She trembled beneath him, and then she shattered. Her internal muscles clamping around him, pulling his own release from him. He gripped her hips hard, thrusting into her wildly, then freezing as his climax gripped him like a beast. Tearing his throat out. Leaving him spent and gasping for breath.
He rolled away from her, and she went with him. Clinging to him. Burrowing her face in his chest.
He curved his arm around her, pressing his palm between her shoulder blades.
And maybe this was...just the reality of it. That no matter how many times they started over, no matter how many times they hit reset, they would just end up back here. Maybe for them this was inevitable. Maybe for them, this was Groundhog Day.
No matter how many times they started, this is where it would end.
“Stay,” she said.
“Yeah,” he said. “I’m not in a hurry to get back to the small bed.”
She nodded against him.
And he waited for her to say something. Because she always did.
Because she was the one who seemed to lead the conversation, and it was... It was something he was used to with her. But she hadn’t been talking. And he had no idea why she’d done this.
Why do you even care?
That was a good question. Why the hell did he care? It was only that he did.
“To what do I owe the change?” he asked.
The words felt dragged from him.
“I had to make a decision,” she said. “And be honest with myself about what... What I wanted. And I want you, Wolf. All of this is just pretending that we don’t. We’re just dancing around it. I want you. And we’re pretending that that isn’t going to be something between us. That we can... That we can somehow manage it. We’ve been walking on eggshells around each other, trying to pretend that we know what being adults looks like. Like we know how to handle this. Like somehow not having sex is going to make it better.” She sniffed loudly. “Not having sex was not better. I missed it.”
He laughed. He couldn’t help himself. “Well. Yeah, agree with that.”
“I think I want to marry you,” she said softly.
The words sent a streak of terror through him. Which was ridiculous. Because he’d already decided that he was marrying her. He had unequivocally decided. But hearing her say that she wanted it, rather than it being an edict coming from him, well, that was different for some reason. It just was.
“After...”
“No,” she said. “I think I want to marry you.”
Yes. That was the answer. The certainty inside him.
“I can’t go back,” she said. “No matter what happens. Not now. I can’t pretend that this didn’t happen.”
“All right. We’ll get married. But I’m going to have to go talk to your dad.”