“Luna?”
“What?” she asked.
“Talk to me.”
“Talk to you? We’re not going there. I’m not going to tell you how sad and pathetic I am because I haven’t had a boyfriend or a single sexual experience since you. It’s crazy, and trust me, it’s not because I don’t want to. I don’t want to be this person who is so hung up on another guy. I hate it.” She dropped her fork onto her plate. “I don’t even need to ask if there was anyone after me. I know.” She rolled her eyes.
He was a dick. There was no way he should be happy about this, but he was. Luna hadn’t been with anyone else but him. Sure, she had kissed a few guys, but going all the way, that was just him.
Yeah, and you fucked that up big time.
“I’m not in love with you,” she said.
“I get it.”
“Good.” She lifted her fork and stabbed more food on her plate. “We should eat.”
“It’s real good food.”
“Thanks.”
They were silent for several minutes, and Matthew couldn’t help himself from stealing glances of her. She was so beautiful.
There was so much he wanted to say to her. To apologize, but he’d done it all before. Said it all. Luna didn’t need to constantly hear it.
Matthew ran a hand down his face after he finished his food. He had fucked up with Luna the first time, and he didn’t know how to not mess up now. When it came to this woman, he always said the wrong thing and did the wrong thing. Nothing ever went right for him.
It was always the wrong thing.
“If you want, we could fuck,” Matthew said.
Luna lifted her head and frowned. “What?”
“I’m the only guy you’ve been with. We’ve got a whole lot of history between us, and I know I was shit at screwing, but it would be different now.”
Luna laughed, or scoffed, he wasn’t quite sure which one it was. “Am I seriously hearing you right now?”
Well, he’d already fucked up. “I’m being serious. I know I can make it a hell of a lot better for you.” He couldn’t tell her that there hadn’t been anyone else because there had been. That was before. Before he realized how much he loved her.
Luna stood, shaking her head. “I think you should go.”
He’d already finished his food, and she reached for the plate. He captured her wrist, stopping her from pulling away from him.
“Matthew!”
“Luna, I’m being serious. You haven’t— I was a mess back then. It wasn’t good. I know that. I can make that up to you.”
“Please, just stop. I appreciate you doing the lawn and all that, but you have to go, like right now. Leave.”
He didn’t want to leave, but he’d already pushed a little too far this morning. There was no way he was willing to go any further. He was being serious. Getting to his feet, he looked around at her yard, hoping to find any excuse to stick around, but he didn’t have one.
“Look, I know I fucked up, and I’m sorry. I can make this right with you. Think about it.”
She closed her eyes. He wasn’t going to stick around to see her angry. He grabbed his leather cut and shirt, leaving her yard.
Spending time with her, eating lunch, that had been enough for now.
He smiled to himself as he made his way across the street and headed toward the clubhouse. He was sure the club would have more useless things for him to clean.