Bailey
I had lost time.
I know, I know. I was grieving. I had to mourn. But seriously. I. Lost. Time.
Kash was so far ahead of me, and I hated that. I woke the next morning when he was already at work.
“Whatcha thinking about?”
I started, my knee slammed up against the table.
Ah. Crap.
I scrambled, reaching, but nope. There went my coffee. It spilled over the entire breakfast table.
“Crap, crap, crap.” I reached for some napkins, throwing them over the pile of hot liquid, and began dabbing. I was trying to smash that liquid with a fervor like no other.
Matt was frowning next to me. “Uh. Bailey?”
I almost had all the coffee soaked up. “Huh?”
“You’ve got half that mug running down your chest.”
I looked down, and that’s when the sizzling seeped through. I screamed, running from the table. “Crap-shit-shoot crap-shit-shoot crap-shit-shoot—”
“Okay.” A wet washcloth smacked me in the center of my chest.A strong hand was behind it, and I looked up to Marie’s frowning face. Her other hand was on my shoulder, holding me firm as she soaked up the rest of the coffee from me. She moved me back into my chair, but in a whole gentle way that was authoritative at the same time. “Relax. Your coffee was lukewarm, if even.”
Theresa came into the dining area and circled around. She ducked her head, laughing, her shoulders shaking. “Never dull around the Francis family, that’s certainly true.”
Matt threw her a cocky smirk, picking up his own coffee and pulling out a flask from his pocket. He uncapped it, pouring some booze into his coffee, and said, as he recapped and returned it, “And that’s why we love you both and you put up with us.”
Marie grunted, taking the washcloth from my chest. Most of the coffee had been absorbed into it, and Marie was right. I touched my chest. The sizzling had been the sound of sausage being fried from the kitchen. I gave her a sheepish look, sinking back in my seat. “Thanks, Marie. You’re a chest saver.”
Theresa started laughing, putting down a plate of toast and returning to the kitchen. “That’s a new one I’ve never heard my mama called.”
Marie was trying to look at me all stern-like, but at her daughter’s joke, her eyes warmed and she couldn’t keep half of her mouth from curving up in a grin.
A wave of jealousy washed through me.
It was abrupt and powerful, enough that it wiped everything out of me. A tear filled my eye, but I kept it back and looked down to my lap.
God.
I wanted that back.
Mom and daughter. In the same house. Teasing comments. A mother’s pride at just hearing her daughter sounding happy. I wanted it, so bad.
I was biting my lip.
I was tired of crying. I was tired of being a zombie. I wantedto live again. I wanted to move forward, keep going, and damn it, that’s what I was doing. And I was starting with eating a goddamn good breakfast. After that, I announced, “I’m going to Hawking today.”
Conversation stopped.
Okay, there hadn’t been much of a conversation going. Matt was on his phone, and he looked up. Marie was pouring some orange juice into two glasses and put the pitcher down, probably more because both glasses were full, but still. The thought counted here.
I was counting it.
I looked between the two, not having a clue what day it was, what time it was, or where anyone except Kash was, but I said it again for dramatic effect. “I’m going to reenroll and finish my studies.” I picked up the orange juice glass that Marie had put in front of me. “It’s time.”