“Because that is what I want to do.” His response is flat.
She stays silent until she exits the car with a quick goodbye.
I’m debating whether I should ask more about her when Caleb says, “She doesn’t live with us, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
My cheeks burn with embarrassment as if he could read my thoughts. “Oh” is the only response I can muster.
“Emily is a neighbor. We met her at the pool at the beginning of the semester. She lives in the building next to ours.”
We arrive at my apartment, and Caleb walks me to the door. I want to invite him in, but my emotions are jumbled. I unlock the door, then turn to face at him. We stand looking at each other, not touching, for a few seconds before Caleb slides both of his hands around my waist, pulling me toward him and planting his lips on mine. Still nervous but wanting things to work, I reach up and interlace my fingers around his neck, falling into the kiss. Caleb’s lips move forcefully against mine. He leans down and picks me up, and I wrap my legs around his waist. He opens my front door, walks us to my bedroom, closing the door behind him, and sits on my bed with me straddling him. His hands slide up my back, brushing my hair off my left shoulder, pushing my neck slightly to the side, giving his mouth more access as he trails kisses down to my collarbone.
His hand glides around my waist, exploring underneath my shirt, rubbing my back and up my waist to the outside of my breast. He brings his mouth to mine, invading it with his tongue. It intensifies quickly as he begins to tug my shirt off. He stands up with me in his arms turning around and laying me on the bed. I unbutton his shirt and let my hands glide down his strong back. We are exploring, touching, tasting, and caressing. He trails kisses down my neck to the swell of my breast. He moves my bra cup aside, taking my nipple into his mouth and sliding his other hand up my thigh to the edge of my panties. I am caught up in the moment, a yearning between my legs growing. When his thumbs hook the waistband of my panties, my brain registers what is about to happen.
“Wait, wait, wait…” I say breathless. “Sorry, sorry…” I feel stupid, but slow things down.
Caleb lifts himself on his forearm, looking down at me. “What’s wrong?” he asks frowning.
“I’m sorry…I just…” I take a breath, not wanting to admit I am a virgin but knowing I’m not ready to go all the way. I exhale. “Can we slow down?”
“Is something wrong?”
Caleb slides off me and lies down beside me, propping his head on his hand. Feeling too exposed, I move the bra cup back in place.
“No…it’s just…” Why am I having such a hard time explaining? I am by no means a prude but have never felt the urge to go all the way with any of the guys I have fooled around with. “We’ve only had a couple of dates. I don’t want to move too fast. We had a misunderstanding tonight, and I just think we need to get to know each other better.” I look toward Caleb, trying to read his expression.
“Fine, you call the shots.” He sits up quickly. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”
As he is about to walk out of my room, I panic. I didn’t expect him to leave. I thought we would just make out—without sex. I jump off my bed and wrap my arms around his waist to stop him.
“Why are you leaving?” I rub my hands up and down his back, walking backward pulling him with me toward the center of my room.
“You put a halt on it, and now you’re trying to seduce me? I gotta go.” He pries my arms away from him and walks out of my bedroom.
I follow him to the front door. “Fine. I’ll be out of town this weekend. I’ll call when I get back,” I blurt out as I begin to shut it behind him.
He turns back around glaring at me, “Where to and when did you decide this?”
“Bree called earlier and asked me to come up. I told her I would let her know,” I quickly lie.
“Austin, huh, so you can throw yourself at all those frat boys again? Nice…” He turns and walks away.
I’m furious and more than a bit tipsy. I can’t think straight. All I want to do is hide all weekend and forget about tonight’s drama. I grab a tee, wash my face, and crawl into bed to sleep off the night. Before I can get comfortable, though, I hear my phone chime a text. Caleb’s name pops on my screen. Too exhausted to fight, I use all my willpower and shut my phone off.
4
I wake not feelingany better about last night’s events, so I decide to check out a yoga class in the rec center. I arrive a couple of minutes before it begins, so I quickly lay out my mat and sit in an easy pose, trying to clear my head.
Class begins, and I am grateful it is a power vinyasa and we are moving through flows swiftly, which means my mind doesn’t have any time to wander. As soon as class ends, a girl says, “Namaste, bitches! My weekend has started!”
She is gorgeous, with fiery red hair, a pale complexion with a hint of freckles, and a curvaceous figure. She seems so carefree and open, I would love to befriend her, but she dashes out the door.
As I reach my apartment building after the yoga session, I see Caleb sitting on the top step of the stairway to my apartment. My body tenses as I climb halfway up the stairs and lean against the railing.
“What are you doing here?” I tense up, ready for an argument.
“You haven’t returned any of my calls or replied to any of my texts. I want to talk to you. I’m sorry for last night. I was a dick, and you have every right to be mad at me, but I want to explain.” He sighs, wringing his hands together nervously.
“Explain…” My eyes roll, as my anger and hurt feelings take over.