“Ensure she grows up strong, strong enough to face down the shit that is no doubt coming for her.”
Ben sobered instantly, staring down at me, his eyes bleeding silver as he did so. A little growl formed in his chest as his beast came out to play.
“Yeah, Lily.” His voice was so much deeper and rougher. “I want that more than my next breath.”
I wasn’t sure how to do this. All of my understanding of alpha/omega dynamics came from romance novels, which weren’t always the hard hitting, gritty, realistic books you might think they are. But I turned my head away, feeling Ben stiffen as I did so, then revealed the bare expanse of my neck to him.
“You need to be sure.” Never had I heard Ben sound so desperate, so hungry. “You need to be fucking sure about what you’re doing. If we do this, you can walk away at any point, but I’ll…” I dared a sidelong look at him, then saw his eyes blazing and his fangs flashing. “I’ll never be anything other than your mate, Lily. Not until I take my last breath and even then, maybe past that.”
“That’s true no matter what I do, isn’t it?” My voice was a thin little squeak now, because I was a mouse in the lair of a wolf.
“Yeah, beta…” His nose trailed along my neck, and he sucked in a breath of me. “Yeah, it is. You, Lily, always you. Only you.”
I jumped when the first kiss landed there, then melted under the next. I shivered when his teeth grazed my skin, testing me and my reactions. Then he dragged his lips away for just a second to rise up and then claim my mouth. His hand slid down, ensuring there was not one breath of air between us and making clear what he had planned for me.
Part of me wondered if this was just me trying to deflect the stress. Another part wondered if this was the right thing to do, because that was the curse of a beta. We weren’t smashed by the certainty of instincts like alphas or omegas were, able to throw ourselves headfirst into a lifelong bond without doubts. Every day we had to get up and choose the other person or persons we loved and choose to keep loving them. But, in a way, what had happened, to Evie, with Logan and his father, with all of this, it’d stripped that all away - all my doubts and worries, all my thoughts and feelings - and just left this.
Being with Ben, touching him, it felt like coming home. The bittersweet ache of it, hurting because it’d taken us so long to get back here, sweet because we’d found our way, it was finally allowed to come rushing out now that my defences were down. That let me kiss him, taking my time to reacquaint myself with every damn curve of his mouth, feeling the way his lips gave under mine, along with the insistent thrust of his tongue. I let out a tiny little whine as I went back for more, then more, a hunger that had been held at bay for so bloody long roaring now it was let off the chain.
“Don’t worry, beta,” he told me. “I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”
And he did. He laid me down on the bed, batting away my hands when I tried to unbutton my shirt, forcing me to watch him strip first. Just those big hands working the small buttons at first, his golden chest appearing inch by inch. Then when that was pulled free and tossed to the side, he stopped and smiled.
“I’ll never get over the way you watch me,” he said. “Shoulda known then who you were to me. Greedy little eyes, taking everything in, claiming it as hers.”
“I’m prepared to do that in a more tactile way,” I said, wiggling my fingers for emphasis.
“Oh, you will. But you first, Lily. Always you first.”
He pulled his clothes off at a much faster rate then, baring himself to me, showing me exactly what he had to give tonight. His hand went to his cock, hard and curving upwards, and gave it a stroke until a pearl of precum formed at the end. I leant forward, ready to get my hands on him, but he shook his head with a smile. Then he dropped to his feet and then unlaced my boots, peeling off my socks, moving onto my shirt, my bra, before he paused. He smiled a little to himself, trailing his fingers down the sides of my breasts before forcing his hands away. Then he worked until finally I was bare for him.
“God, I need a shower—” I groaned, realising how stinky I must be.
“No.” He glanced up at me then. “I can’t let you out of my sight, not for a second. Something will happen. Something or someone will come for you. You’ll get torn away and…”
I blinked, just staring at him, because no other man had ever expressed that kind of desperation when it came to me. Some liked me, some may have even come to love me if I’d been open enough to allow it, but I knew now why I hadn’t been.
“I’m not going anywhere. Well, except for the bathroom, but you’re coming with me.”
“Yeah?”
That smile, that fucking sexy smile was going to kill me seeing it on the regular and part of me high fived myself at the realisation that I would be able to, as much as I wanted. We just had to find a way to make sure everyone was still smiling. But I wrapped myself in a dressing gown and tossed him a towel before I could go down that train of thought for too long. I heard the TV going in the lounge room, and low conversations being held, but I scurried into the bathroom, Ben closing the door behind me. He went and turned the water on, testing the temperature before approaching me.
In some ways, time collapsed. I was exactly the same nervous girl I had been at eighteen, when faced by the big alpha. But on the other hand, I’d experienced enough pain, frustration and heartache to process it completely differently when he approached me: when he pushed my dressing gown off my shoulders, when he cupped my jaw in his hands, when he bent down to kiss me with the perfect mix of hunger and reverence. I melted into him because, dammit, I deserved to. If he was willing to step up, to be a father to Evie and husband to me, I’d take it.
He swept me into the shower, the two of us blinking away water spray as we kissed and kissed and kissed. He grabbed the soap blindly, lathering it up as our lips remained joined, and then smoothed it all over me. I could feel his haste, wanting to get me clean so he could make me dirty again, but when his big palms covered my breasts, I shivered and he slowed.
“Lily…” He groaned my name at the feel of them, testing their weight, seeming to love sinking his fingers into my softness. “You’re so fucking beautiful…”
But any odes he might have wanted to utter were shoved to one side as I cupped my hand around his knot.
“No, no…” He tried to push my hands away because he was already so hard and swollen and when I squeezed his knot, precum was oozing out. “Lily…”
“Maybe you need to get off first,” I whispered. “Just release some tension. You’ll get hard again, won’t you, Ben?”
“If the past week or so are anything to go by, I won’t even go soft,” he said, then threw his head back as I slid one hand around his shaft. “Fuck, that feels so bloody good. Your hands are so small and delicate but… unh!” I tightened my grip, letting him feel exactly how strong I really was, his hips jerking in time with my strokes. His hands slammed down on the shower cubicle, his mouth darting for mine, peppering me with kisses as he got closer to his release. “I’m not gonna last. Lils, I need you so fucking much!”
He ended up rutting against me, the swollen end of his cock smearing cum all over my soft belly as I jerked him harder and faster. But when he came, his hands went to my hips, dragging me close, jamming his cock against me as he finally offloaded.