Ridinga motorcycle was so different to being in a car that it was hard to see the overlap. Like, they were both means of transport, but… In a car, I was in my own hermetically sealed little bubble. I controlled the temperature, the tunes, my seat, and I eased myself through traffic, insulated from reality.
On a bike I was out there, distressingly inserted into the world as we zipped along. We wove through traffic at a speed that was alarming and with a dexterity that impressed me. I felt completely and utterly out of control, my only means of communication in the way I gripped at Damon. I heard his muffled chuckle as I clawed at his jacket, clinging now for dear life, even though I didn’t feel like I was slipping for a second. And that’s when I wondered if this had been his plan all along. But the narrow streets of the city gave way to the freeway and then, all too quickly, we were out and beyond the confines of Adelaide.
Houses gave way to fields. Green grass gave away to the bleached yellow dry grass of summer. The vista expanded, because there were so few trees, or houses, or anything out here to obstruct your view. The country felt… huge and by comparison we were just a little speeding bullet tearing across it. I let out a sigh, sinking into Damon’s back, relaxing into him, and he patted my hand in recognition.
When we pulled into a service station on the way to wherever we were going, it felt like a spell had been broken. Again, Damon had forced me to come back to the moment. I had to focus on him and how he moved, shifting my weight with his in a way that felt kind of terrifying, but, as we travelled, I saw the sense of it. Physics was at play, I was sure, momentum and velocity and… something. There was a part of it that defied explanation though. You could only understand it by feeling, and that sensation was truncated when we pulled up. I blinked as I drew off my helmet, taking in the old service station as if it was the first one I’d ever seen.
“I’ve been told you turn into some kind of monster without coffee,” Damon said with a rakish grin. “Can’t promise this place will be any good but—”
“Caffeine,” I grunted. “Gimme.”
He helped me off the bike, now stabilised on its stand, and I drifted after him, into a roadhouse full of truck drivers and travellers.
“This iswhy I brought you out here,” he said, settling into a booth with that kind of lazy, laidback thing men did. His leather jacket was left open, his green eyes raking over me, watching with a smile the way I wrapped my hands round my cup.
“What, shitty roadhouse coffee?” I said, then took a sip.
“No, because of the change. Your cheeks are flushed, your eyes are brighter. You’re wincing at the crap coffee, but you’re reacting.”
“I feel like all I do is react, nowadays,” I muttered.
“Yeah, but here you can’t keep it in.” He leaned forward then, his fingers tracing the curve of the handle of his cup. “It’s out there, all of it. Admit it, your heart is racing.”
“Because I was scared as hell tearing down the highway. What if we came off?”
“What if we didn’t?”
“What would a bit of reinforced leather and some thin stretch jeans do if we went down?” I shot back.
“What would your life be like if you let fear dictate your every decision and you never let out the part of yourself that got a charge from this? You liked it.”
I went to snap back at him, but he caught the moment when my mouth opened, my throat worked, but nothing came out.
“Part of you loved clinging to me like a burr, knowing I’d steer you right. Part of you loved giving up control for just this once. You didn’t have to be responsible for anything; I was.” His smile faded then and he straightened, as if he’d delivered a lesson for himself, not just me. “That’s what it can be like, Lily. If you let us in, we can all be your little minions, doing what you want, when you want it. Plenty of packs are ruled by their omega’s iron fist.”
“I’m not an omega—” I stiffened, but his hand shot out, gripping my arm, stopping me from pulling back any further.
“No, but you’re our mate.” His thumb brushed against the sensitive underside of my wrist, forced to delve under my sleeve to get it. “No omega can ever give us what you can, trust me.” I stared at him then, wanting to look away, to end this thread of conversation, but I couldn’t. I needed to know. “We tried. Fuck, how we tried. Dates and meetings, and presenting ourselves when a local omega went into heat. Online dating and alpha matchmaking services. If there was a way to find the other half of our souls, we gave it a go. I wasn’t… especially helpful.”
He held my gaze with his, refusing to look away.
“Scared, desperate, lonely omegas have a particular scent to them. It made us want to protect them, keep them away from the bastards in their families that were trying to farm them out, usually wanting to coerce them into a relationship with a pack of alphas who weren’t their true mates. We even tried that a time or two. But nothing else, Lily. I’ve kissed a lot of lips, breathed in their scents and worked to persuade myself that this was the one…”
Nope, dammit, I didn’t want to continue this conversation because hearing Damon talk about kissing other people just made me growl with discontent. But when I went to pull away, he used his grip on me to draw my hand across the table.
“I haven’t had to pretend with you.” His eyes dropped to trace the shape of my lips and he couldn’t seem to stop doing that. “If anything, it’s the other way around. I have to try to stamp down the fucking need to drag you back to my cave, throw you down between me and my brothers and not let you out until you’re thoroughly claimed.”
His mouth twitched as he heard my breath suck in, because in my mind, I could see exactly how that would go. I’d be stripped bare, presented to the five of them, their hungry eyes raking across my skin before—
Wait, five?
“Don’t think about Logan,” he ordered.
“How—?”
“Your scent sours when you’re around him, something that’s driving him freaking mad right now. What was going through your mind just before? You smelled so fucking tasty.” His eyes were bright, shining silver now and completely intent. “Did you see it, what we’d do to you? Did you feel what it would be like? One or more of us would care for the cub, make her feel safe and secure. And the others? They’d serve their queen in every way she deserved, and some she didn’t, filling her over and over—”
“I need to go to the loo while we’re here,” I said, jerking my hand away from him, but the lazy look he shot me said he knew exactly what this was. I wiped my hands over my jeans, trying to dry the sudden sheen of sweat before turning to go.