“God, if you fucking knew…” He searched my face then and that's when I saw the response I’d expected. The hurt, the betrayal, the anguish. “Why didn’t you tell me, Lils?”
“You were here for a good time, not a long time, remember?” I said, smiling, but not feeling it for a second. “I figured you’d find your omega, have a pack of sons, and wouldn’t need an illegitimate daughter getting in the way of that. And anyway, if you wanted to keep in contact, you would’ve.”
“Is that what you thought?” He reached across, his massive hand like a spider hunting down mine but stopping before it made the jump. “That I wouldn’t…?”
“I didn’t know what you thought. You left, like you said you would, and you went back to your life. I got on with mine. I just couldn’t imagine any scenario where telling you would end well and then…”
I let out a breath that I felt like I’d been holding since Evie was only a few months old.
“You came back to Adelaide with Max and Taylor, just like the time you met me. You helped them move in, just like last time.” I watched his expression change, his eyes widening, his face falling. “And you asked Taylor and Sophie where the parties with lots of single girls were.” My teeth locked down, not wanting to say the words, but I forced them out. “Just like last time. To me, it was clear. I was a bit of fun for one night, and nothing more, so that’s how I left things.”
He went to grab my hand but I jerked it back and when he saw the way I held it to my chest like a wounded bird, he just nodded slowly.
“I wish you had said something, in more ways than you’ll ever know. I wish…” He drew frantic little circles on the desktop and then forced himself to stop. “Wishing hasn’t gotten me real far yet, so let's not bother with that. Tell me about Evie, Lily. Tell me about my baby.”
I softened then and something inside me had me putting my hand down, even reaching out and taking his. On this, we could work together. We’d have to. Part of me, it swelled at the sound of the pride and love throbbing in his voice, even if it was coupled with the fear that it might fade as soon as he saw an Evsplosion. But dammit, if he wasn’t on board for that, at least I’d know. The next time a health care professional asked me about her father, I’d be able to bark out a very brusque reply.
“She’s a handful,” I began.
“She’s beautiful,” he said, gazing into my eyes. “She looks so much like you.”
“God, do you think?” I said, scrubbing at my face. “I see you in her every damn day, which is hard, let me tell you.” He watched me oh so carefully at that little slip, but I charged on. “She’s smart. Too damn smart, unfortunately.”
“That has to come from you,” he said with a grin. “All I’m good for is riding tractors and digging holes.”
“Oh no, it’s not from me,” I said with a shake of my head. “She’s been tested a few times. She’s in the moderately gifted range.”
“So she’s beautiful and brilliant.” He experienced a moment of pride, but the next moment that soured as he looked up at me with a frown. “I’m gonna have to beat off half the blokes in the world when she gets older, aren’t I?”
“She’ll kick their arses herself, don’t you worry,” I said. “I meant it, though. I know there aren’t female alphas, but she’s insanely strong, stubborn—”
“As an ox and won’t let anything she wants go by, not without a fight to the death,” he said, something shining in his eyes. I got the distinct feeling Ben’s wolf was peeking out at me then. “The cub, has she shown signs of having a wolf yet?”
“Not that I’m aware of,” I said. “She shouldn’t until she’s grown, right? All the other alphas I’ve spoken to—”
“What. Alphas?”
I stiffened at the sound of his low snarl, cocking an eyebrow slowly and he seemed to realise he was stepping over a line.
“None of your damn business, is who,” I replied in clipped tones. “What about your omega? What’s she or he going to think about all of this?”
He jerked away from me, his back pressed against the chair. His fingers traced the printed wood grain lines on the table before he spoke again.
“There is no omega, not for us, Lily. It’s why we came to town. We heard good things about the work the Taylor pack are doing for alphas and omegas with issues and, out of desperation, we booked a consult. Funny thing is, we got our answer, just in their waiting room.”
When he stared at me now, his eyes were as silvery as the moon, shining, shining, utterly alien.
“There won’t ever be an omega for us. I should’ve known that the moment you took my knot. You belong to us, Lily. You are our mate.”
My nails were so soft and useless compared to his, but they did their level best to dig into the desktop right then.
“No…” I whispered, that fire, that irritation under my skin getting exponentially itchy every second I spent in this room. “No, I can’t be.”
“Nothing’s ever felt as good as the moment you were with me,” he told me, his voice so rich and deep, it was like a great torrent, washing over me, trying to take all my fears with it. “Sitting in my car, being next to me, playing in the sand. Smelling your scent in my nose. Tasting your lips—”
“Stop. Now.”
I’d learned a trick or two about dealing with alphas. I’d had to, hadn’t I? Short, sharp commands in as definite a tone as you could manage with no prevarication, that’s what got through to them.