I blinked then, wondering how much Evie felt the same.
“I wish it had been,” he said, then smiled grimly. “I felt no fear then or after, just this cocky bullshit. I got a taste for feeling like I could control things and that didn’t stop. I couldn’t bark the boys into submission, but I could nag them into the ground, fight them when needed, push and push and push. Every time I did, Dad was there, patting me on the back.”
He let out a long sigh, staring into the darkened bushes.
“None of that’s an excuse. I should never have treated you or Evie the way I did. I didn’t want to. Part of me was tearing, clawing, at myself to shut the fuck up and just roll over and show my belly, to beg you for forgiveness. But then, in my mind, you two were just like pieces to be moved around on the board. Of course, our mate would come to Campbeltown. Of course, our child would join us. We’d be a pack, finally, and all would be well. But I didn’t behave in the way an alpha should at all.”
He stepped closer then, slow enough that I could flinch away if needed.
“Ben was there for the cub, doing his best to earn her trust. Damon took you out and showed you a good time. Jasper looked after you the way you deserved and Reed…”
“Reed just does what he does,” I said. “But what he does, it's good for us. I guess that’s the question, Logan. Can you be good for us?”
“I want to be.” I stood on the deck, while he was still on the grass, so he had to look up at me. “Fuck, how I want to be. I want to be everything they are and more, Lily. You’re the other half of my soul, and I can’t find it in myself to fight that bond anymore.”
“Then you better come inside then,” I said. “The first rule of Lily club is learning to make a good cuppa coffee.”
Chapter 61
“OK, so you look fucking amazing,” Damon said as I walked out of the bedroom a week later. The way he slowed down and raked his eyes up and down my body made me feel a lot better. Objectified, sure, but hey, I’d take that right now. I didn’t feel fucking amazing, I felt nervous as fucking hell.
“Damn,” Jasper said, joining his brother. “We can make this a group date, right?”
“What a grand idea,” Damon replied. “Then we could make it a group f—”
“He’s here,” Reed said, looking at the front door and, sure enough, there came a sharp knock. “Ready?”
No, no, really - no. I rubbed my hands down the sides of my dress, no doubt messing up the pretty fabric, but I had to do something, because they were clammy and gross.
“Mummy, you look like a princess!” Evie said, rushing over and grabbing me around the legs. “Are you going out with Dad?”
As a beta, I found the lack of clarification about which dad really confusing, but they all seemed to know exactly who they meant.
“I’m going out with Logan, yes,” I said, smoothing her hair back from her face.
“And you’re getting in the shower and ready for bed,” Ben said, standing in the bathroom doorway.
“Ohh, Dad…”
“Don’t ohh, Dad, me. We have a meeting with your school in the morning.”
God, don’t fucking remind me!I rubbed at my forehead at that.
“Maybe I should delay the date. We all need to be fresh before we deal with that dick— The principal,” I said hurriedly. Before anyone could reply, there was another knock at the door.
“Think of this as good training,” Jasper said, pushing me down the hall. “If you can soothe this savage beast, the principal won’t stand a chance.” He opened the door and there was Logan.
He blinked as he looked at the two of us, his hair wet and scrupulously combed back, his face shaved. He was wearing a very nice navy blue button down shirt and black slacks and holding a massive bunch of flowers in his arms.
“These are for you,” he said, thrusting them my way.
I took the burden from him, peeking past the crackling cellophane to a gorgeous bouquet of irises, gerberas and zinnias.
“Dad, they are so pretty!” Evie enthused, craning her neck to take a look.
“I’ll have to get you some next time,” Logan said, peering down the now packed hallway to catch sight of our daughter.
“Take the flowers from Mum and then shower time, Evie,” Ben said with that increasingly harried tone I knew so well. It felt like I sounded like that 24/7. But as she snatched away the bouquet, I was left standing there, awkward and empty handed until Logan’s shot out. He took my hand, his palm warm and firm, as he drew me out of the house and around to the passenger seat of his car.