While on the dance floor, I felt arms creeping around me again, but this time I pushed them away, not in the mood to sink into the warmth and passion of a dance. I had failed in my mission and my confidence had been knocked, plus I didn’t want a repeat of Howie. There seemed to be more ardent men on this night, and it might have been a difference in my dress or in the way I carried myself, but there was certainly a different effect. Sadly, it was not the attention of the men I wanted, or the effect I wanted, and when I felt I had endured enough time of this misery, I decided to make a hasty exit. I waved goodbye to a few people and retreated, before they could try and get me to stay.
The line at the door had dwindled and I hoped that I wouldn’t have to suffer the embarrassment of another awkward interaction from Rick and Dalton. I passed by the secret room and I wondered if there was anyone inside, before I left, walking briskly past the gatekeepers.
“Aren’t you going to stop and say hi?” Dalton asked. I froze, then spun on my heels and glared at him. I walked up to him, my shoes clacking against the sidewalk, and jabbed a finger in the air.
“What was that about earlier? Why did you ignore me?”
Dalton’s expression was still nonchalant. I wondered if anything disturbed him.
“I’m sorry about that. We were just under pressure to get everyone in and I didn’t want to get into trouble. Sadly, we’re at the whims of management and they’ve got a right stick up their ass at the moment.” Rick came wandering over, just as Dalton said this, and I caught a surreptitious glance between the two of them, although I wasn’t sure what it meant.
“Well, it wasn’t very nice,” I said in a humph, folding my arms across my chest. I know that, given my size, I can’t have been too intimidating, especially to them, but I wanted to show them that I was annoyed. A smirk tugged at Dalton’s mouth and this frustrated me even more.
“Let me make it up to you. I know this place that does some great late night pancakes. Wait here for a little bit and I’ll sort out cover for my break,” Dalton said.
Before I had a chance to accept his offer, he was already walking inside the club, and I was left with Rick. I felt a little awkward, because Rick was acting as though he didn’t want me there. I didn’t know if that was true, or if that was just the way he was. Either way, I felt uncomfortable.
“Have you had any trouble tonight?” I asked, hoping that by breaking the silence I might also ease the tension. It didn’t work. He only grunted a reply and looked away from me. I wondered what I had done to offend him so. I wasn’t a vain person, but it did trouble me greatly, whenever I found out somebody didn’t like me. As far as I was concerned, I was a harmless individual who didn’t wish any harm on anyone, so what reason could people have to dislike me? Especially when they didn’t even know me, but I didn’t feel like trying to convince Rick. He didn’t seem like a man who was easily convinced.
Moments later, Dalton came back wearing a black leather jacket. Another man followed him and took his position beside Rick.
“I’ll be back in a little while,” he said. Rick pursed his lips and nodded, without saying anything. I fell into step with Dalton, who expected me to, and we walked along the sidewalk past the closed shops, to one that had its lights on. It was a small pinprick, that grew closer as we walked along and, unlike the previous week when I had walked with Howie, I didn’t feel like everything was going to go wrong.
“I’m not sure Rick likes me,” I said.
“Rick doesn’t like anyone,” Dalton laughed, and then his tone grew a little more serious. “No, he’s just got a lot on his mind at the moment. I wouldn’t take it personally.”
“Oh. Okay.”
“I’m sorry for ignoring you tonight. I didn’t mean to make you feel like you didn’t matter.”
“I guess you had a job to do,” I said, although it had cast a shadow across the night, not that I was going to tell him that he could have that much influence over my mood. The more we spoke, the more relaxed I felt in his company. He had an easy way of speaking and I didn’t feel under pressure to say the right thing.
“Unfortunately, yes. But this place will make it up to you, I promise.” I got the sense that he wasn’t the type of man to make promises lightly, so my expectations were high.
When we reached the diner, there were a few people milling about the entrance, and they parted as we stepped in. I had a feeling that most people parted for Dalton. He was such a physically impressive man and took up so much room. I had always struggled with having to sneak past crowds because most people didn’t notice me. I had always been described in my youth as a mouse, and I’d always hated that description. Why couldn’t I have been something more like a lion?
The diner was a small place, very idyllic, as though it had been plucked from a movie about 50’s Americana. The smell of cooked eggs, bacon, and pancakes filled the air. We sat at a table with a red and white checked tablecloth. I grabbed a menu, but Dalton took it away and shook his head, as a red-haired waitress called Dotty approached us and poured out coffee that was as thick as syrup, into a couple of mugs.
“We’ll have my usual,” Dalton said. Dotty flashed him a smile and returned to the kitchen.
“You come here a lot?” I asked.
“Whenever I have a break. I usually come here with Rick.”
“So what’s going on with him?”
Dalton looked out of the window and uncertainty flickered across his face. “Oh, it’s just some family stuff. Probably the same kind of thing that everyone is struggling with at the moment. How are you doing by the way, after last week? Did you patch things up with your friend?”
“Oh, yeah,” I said in a blasé tone. “We’re always snapping at each other like that. It was just worse last week because she’d just gotten a promotion that I wanted and I was feeling bitter about it, but then I learned that I’d never really been in the running anyway, because the bosses at work don’t think I have the right attitude to succeed.”
“No?”
“No,” I huffed, “apparently I’m not determined or tenacious en
ough. It’s like they’ve just written me off before they can see what I’ve got to offer. So I’m trying to be better at work, but it’s exhausting. By the end of the day I barely feel like I’ve accomplished anything, even though I’ve been buzzing around without stopping.”
“Maybe you’re just not in the right job. Isn’t there something else you can do, where they appreciate you?”