We burst out into laughter. She has been my number one supporter through all this and she is the one I have to thank for having that conversation with our mother. I was afraid of it. I was a nervous wreck, but Vanessa assured me that it would be alright. It was hard finding the words to explain to my mother why I’ve chosen this unorthodox path and not one, but three partners. I guess I didn’t choose this. They chose me and when something so powerful grabs you, you don’t want to let go ever again. That was exactly what I said to her. In the end, I think it wasn’t what I said that made her understand. It was the look in my eyes. It was the sound of my voice when I spoke about them. She felt what was in my heart, what has always been there, what will always remain there, untouched, unchanged.
“There’s still a few left, you know,” I tell Vanessa, winking.
“Ah, no. I’m stuck with Marco,” Vanessa shrugs her shoulders. I only know Marco from her stories, but he sounds promising. I’m happy that she’s found someone who understands her, just like I have.
Suddenly, there’s a knock on the door to Theron’s shack. I don’t know why it took me so long to realize that this is my home, this is where I belong, this is where I feel truly myself, accepted as I am.
“Come in!” I shout, wondering if it’s one of the guys, but my mom’s head peers through.
“Are we decent?” she asks, smiling.
“As if you haven’t seen our tushies a million times before,” Vanessa chuckles. She then proceeds to get up, kisses our mom on the cheek and heads to the door. “I’ll give you a moment.”
My mom walks over to me and stops right in front of my belly. I didn’t want to tell them this over the phone. It was a surprise when they arrived. Vanessa was out of her mind about becoming an aunt. My mom was cautious. Her smile appeared almost instantly, but there was something behind it, like a lurking fear that something might go wrong. After all, this was an unusual situation and people tend to be wary of the unusual, especially if it is happening to them or someone close to them. I could understand my mother. I still can. I’m just asking for the same in return.
She looks at my reflection in the mirror. First, she locks her eyes with mine, then they travel down to my bulging belly. A veil of serenity washes over her and it’s still there when she speaks.
“Remember when you were getting ready to go?” she asks me and I’m not sure exactly what she’s referring to. “You were standing in front of your mirror, just like now, your suitcase on the bed. You were going. And, you are going now, too.”
“Mom, I’m not going anywhere,” I smile gently at her.
“Your path isn’t a physical one, my child,” she explains. “It's very important, nonetheless.”
She isn’t usually this cryptic when she’s talking. I wonder what Dex has been telling her.
“You and your sister are the only thing I value in this world,” she continues. “Now, there will be one more, little life I shall consider as important as you.”
She takes my hands in hers and brings them to her lips. I can feel them trembling as she places a softly, motherly kiss on my hands. I can’t hold back my tears and they are now streaming down my face.
“Why are you crying, sweet child?” she asks, wiping away my tears with her thumb.
“Nothing,” I snivel. “Pregnancy hormones.”
“The most beautiful thing to ever change your life,” she nods. She turns to go, but I pull her back. She looks at me, puzzled.
“Mom, I….” I start. It’s difficult. I don’t know how to start. “I know what I did is… people don’t do it like that. Girls don’t do it like that. I know. And, I also know it’s difficult to accept it, so I…” She interrupts me by shaking her head. Am I wrong?
“It’s never difficult to accept your child,” she whispers softly. “That’s what you are. My child. My love. My reason for living. You will see when your baby is born. You will love it no matter what. That is how I love you and your sister. You took a path that makes you happy. I see that. And, those men out there, that are waiting for you to come out so the ceremony can start, they love you. I can see that, too. That is precious in this world. Cherish it.”
The look on her face is one of approval, acceptance, understanding. I wrap my arms around her and we remain like that, hugging, for what seems to be a small eternity. Her hair smells like apple shampoo, the one she’s been buying her entire life, the one that has always provided a sense of comfort when she would hug me. Today, it didn’t fail to do the same.
“Come on, now,” she continues. “The men are waiting.”
About half an hour later, we are all standing by the lake, where Zarael and I met for the first time. The whole clan is here. My family is here, too. Only the closest and most special people. I don’t need anyone else. Everywhere I turn, there are flowers, blossoming all around us. The view looks like something from a fairy tale, where the princess finally gets to meet her prince. I dare imagine that it’s me. Dex, Theron and Zarael are standing beneath a large oak tree, in its shade, hidden from the sunlight. I almost gasp upon seeing them. They’re not wearing their usual leather jackets and boots and torn jeans. No. This time, it’s white shirts and dark blue pants. I wonder if my mom had anything to do with that. In any case, they are gorgeous. They all look stunning, whether they’re rocking their biker look or something like this.
I realize that there’s nothing left of that anxiety I was feeling back in the shack. My heart is filled with nothing but love. Love for my men. Love for my baby.
Epilogue
10 years later
I’m lying in a hammock on a warm, sunny afternoon. This rarely happens. The guys have all taken the kids for fishing and left me alone to enjoy some peace and quiet. I take a sip of coffee from my cup and close the anatomy book I’m holding. I put it on a small garden table nearby and lean back. A smile lingers on my face, as I look into the distance. The place has really changed in the last ten years. The shacks have grown and became full blown miniature houses. There is a picket fence and a green lawn. The garden is beautifully blossoming with flowers of all colors and I’ve got our daughter Maya to thank for that. Her and her green thumb. Phineas and Ares, our two sons aren’t allowed even close to the garden. Their war games are too damaging and poor little Maya always ends up crying. It breaks Theron’s heart to see her like that.
I enjoy the sounds of the forest around. It’s the same as the first time I came here. A little frightening when you hear it at first, but it grows on you very quickly. It becomes your second nature.
“Moooooooooooooom!” I hear a thundering noise coming from the woods and I know that my peaceful afternoon is finished.
I get up and walk the little path to meet them. A few moments later, I see a little curly headed thing running up to me. She is holding her right shoulder with her left hand. She looks a little flushed, her cheeks red, but it doesn’t look like she’s crying. Behind her, Theron is trying to keep up.