Pinching my lips, I shake my head, “No, it’s not.”
Slowly starting to get pissed and overly possessive because of my defiance, John looms over me and clasps my chin. His eyes bore into mine and he whispers, “We didn’t use any protection, sweet cheeks.” He tilts his head to the side. “Maybe you need a quick lesson in biology.” He glances at a door leading to a cupboard and he cups my buttocks, “How about I give you one, right now?”
Fidgeting, I shake my head. “You don’t get it. I don’t need any protection. I’m already protected.”
John’s eyes narrow from suspicion. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Looking at him underneath my lashes, I whisper, “I have a copper IUD inserted.”
“You havewhat?” John growls in a loud voice and he’s turning red in the face as if I just told him that I steal from the less fortunate in my spare time. He drags a frustrated hand through his hair. “Why the hell didn’t you tell me?”
“It didn’t come u...up,” I stutter, gasping when he clasps my upper arms and puts me up against a wall and he’s brimming with so much ferocity that I feel like I could get pregnant from his gaze alone, protection or no protection.
“You’re getting it removed, Autumn.”
“Am not!” I whine, whimpering when he uses his hips to hold me in place so I can’t move and I flood with heat. O...okay, so maybe I am. He marches down the hallway with me in tow, looking like he’s a man on a mission and he practically forces one of the doctors to reschedule. She’s so startled by him that she doesn’t have a choice but to give in to his demands.
Before I know it, I’m in a hospital gown, up on a bed with my legs spread in the air. Crossing his arms, John tilts his head to the side, looking like he’s enjoying the view and I flush red. This is so embarrassing. I can’t believe I let him talk me into this. The doctor seems thrown off by this situation just as much as me but she doesn’t dare protest. Pinching my lips, I clench my fists as she goes on with the procedure.
John moves to hold my hand even though this doesn’t hurt and I can barely look at him. This feels strangely similar to a wife giving birth with her husband by her side. It’s what John wants. He wants us to start a family but I’m a girl on the run. I was never supposed to get involved with him, never let him crawl under my skin. And yet that’s exactly what happened.
A tear slides down my cheek and John frowns, brushing it off with his thumb.
“Hurry up!” he snarls, mistaking the tear to be caused by pain and the doctor gawks.
“John! It’s not her fault.”
Lowering his head, John brushes my hair away from my face and whispers. “I’ll kill anyone who hurts you, you know that, don’t you?”
The doctor freezes and I cry out. “He’s joking. He just has a bizarre sense of humor.” The doctor nods but her hands shake after she’s pulled out the IUD and I hurry to get dressed. Putting his hand on my lower back, John leads me out of the room and there’s a smirk lingering around his mouth as if he’s crazy proud of himself for talking me into this.
His eyes play with satisfaction when he looks down at me. “Now who’s unprotected?”
“G...guess that’s me,” I stutter but it doesn’t matter anyway. We won’t be sleeping with each other again. John insists that we sneak off but I lie and say I have to go home. It’s already late, I’ve overstayed my shift by hours and its dark out. John’s reluctant but I maintain that he needs to get his rest.
His fists clench as if he’s had enough of resting but I refuse to budge.
“You’ll be here first thing in the morning,” he grits between his teeth as he gets into bed. I nod and he warns, “I’ll have you against the wall as soon as you cross the threshold. And I want no protests.”
Gulping, I nod again and pull the covers over his big body. He watches me with narrow eyes, almost as if he can tell what I’m about to do but he doesn’t say anything. Maybe I’m giving John too much credit and myself too little. Maybe I actually will be able to pull this off.
“I’ll chase you until the edge of the world,” John rasps, laying his head down on the pillow. “You’ll never get away from me.”
“Okay John,” I whisper and my eyes flutter when he pulls at his clothes.
“Rub my chest.”
Pinching my lip, I sit down on the edge of the bed and start rubbing just like I did previous night. This time though, he doesn’t fall asleep as easily. His lids flutter but he just won’t give in. Inwardly I sigh but I keep on stroking until his muscles relax. When I’ve been petting him for ten minutes and he’s still awake, I give up and reach for a cup of water and some sleeping pills that I stole.
“Take these,” I murmur, “they’ll help you sleep.” It’s the correct dosage because it’s what I’ve seen the doc give John so it’s not like there’s a risk for any side effects. To my surprise, John agrees, accepts the pills and drinks the water.
His eyes bore into mine, tracing my face as if he somehow deep down knows this is our last time together. I choke on the sadness, wanting nothing more than press my lips against his but if I do, I won’t be able to pull away. How do you pull away from a man like him? There’s so much hunger in him that I know I’ll be aching for years and years. Sliding my hand down his cheek, I grit my teeth to stop myself from sobbing and when he closes his eyes and starts breathing evenly, I run out of the room.
Halfway down the hallway, I stop, leaning over and rest my hands on my knees.
I can’t do this.
Yes, you can, Autumn. You have to.