I shouldn’t feel the stab of annoyance burrowing its way into me, but I do.
Ehlga returns with a tray of pastries. I notice straight away that her face seems less harsh than earlier, and I guess she must have heard a thing or two.
“I thought you might like these.” She waves her hand over the rows of croissants and pain au chocolats.
“Thank you. I appreciate that.”
“I’m glad. Eat up, and I’ll show you around in about an hour.”
I nod. When she leaves, I get my phone out.
My heart shrinks away when I see how many messages I’ve received. There are over twenty.
The bulk are from Lorelai and a few from my other friends, all of them wanting to know what’s happening. The most heartfelt message, however, came from Viktor. He said he was sorry he couldn’t stop me from being taken.
I send Lorelai a message and decide to wait to respond to Viktor. Since I’m only allowed one message to him, I need to make it count and say all the things I need to say to arrange when we can meet, and essentially say goodbye.
There’s nothing from my father, but I know he can’t contact me.
I eat the pastries then fall into a slump of going through the motions when Ehlga starts giving me the tour of my new prison.
Although the grounds of Desmier’s home are truly beautiful, I’m not paying attention to anything, and I’m sure Ehlga knows. There’s no way she thinks I’m sufficiently okay to act like I’m on a school trip when the truth is looming over my head.
We walk along the beach—which I was right– is private and enclosed between the walls of the cliff so you can’t see what’s on the other side.
From here there’s nothing for miles and miles but the sea.
I might be a good prisoner, but that doesn’t mean I’m not looking for a way out.
I’m looking through the woods for a passage, at the sky for the heavens to open up and take me, and the ground to swallow me whole.
I’m looking at any and everything because I’ve never felt so unsettled and ensnared in my life. But of course my heart sinks as I find nothing but the truth telling me I’m trapped here. Even if I did find a way out, my defiance would get Dad killed.
Ehlga takes me to the top of the cliff and starts talking about the Savannah Sparrows and Larks that come by during the summer. When she points to the ivy-covered stone walls between the garden and the cliff, every muscle in my body goes rigid as my gaze lands on a crest of a wolf’s head and a crescent-shaped moon next to it, carved into the stone.
My eyes bulge and I wonder if I’ve slipped into another nightmare because this is the only other place I’ve seen this particular crest.
I stop short and gaze at it, goosebumps crawling down my skin. My mind flip-flops assessing the design and contemplating the possibility that I could be mistaken.
But I know I’m not. And I’m awake. What I’m looking at is real.
It’s just that, this thing is not something I remember seeing anywhere in real life.
Closing my eyes, I tap into the horrific scenes that have been plaguing my mind for years and there I find the crest carved into a dark surface, like a door or a wall. I’ve just never been able to determine so before because the monsters rush out of the shadows and kill me.
Warm fingers tap my shoulder and my eyes snap open.
Ehlga stares back at me with concern filling her pale gray eyes.
“Are you okay, dear?” she asks. “You’ve gone pale.”
“Um…” I stutter, unsure what to say because, no, I’m not okay. Not by a long shot.
Up until now, I’d believed everything in my nightmares was figments of my imagination. Now that one of them is staring right back at me, I can’t help but question if this is something from my missing memories.
But this is the first time I’ve been to this house. And the crest I see in my nightmares is the same, same design, just smaller and darker.
“Anastasia?”