“What about Zakh? How does he feel?”
She laughs without humor. “That’s an even bigger mystery. He’s the irrational rebel. You never know what those types of guys are thinking because they don’t tell you. I know the day will come when we have to break up and that’s what will break me.”
“Oh Lorelai.” I cover her hands with mine.
She blinks back tears then tries to regain her usual easy smile. “It’s okay. It is what it is. But enough about me. Let’s focus on you. I think the best thing you can do is to try not to worry. You’re in a weird situation you have no control over, but there will come a time when you’ll have to choose what’s right for you. Or you’ll go crazy.”
I think that’s already happened. “I want you to do the same thing.”
“I will. I’m glad we spoke about it. I promise not to keep secrets from you again.”
I give her a warm smile. “I’ll hold you to that.”
“I mean it. I promise.” She brushes over my shoulder and smiles. “Hey, maybe in sixty years we’ll be two super sassy older ladies, talking about all our adventures. And our men. I’ll be receiving my tenth Emmy for best actress and you can be the celebrity shrink, like Dr. Phil. But you still give me friends and family discount.”
In typical Lorelai style she switches the subject effortlessly and even manages to make me laugh like I don’t have a care in the world. I wish that were true.
“You are so crazy.”
“It’s a nice thought, though right?” She gives me a one-shouldered sassy shrug.
“Yeah.”
“I got half an hour left, tell me what the final plans are for the wedding. I’m so glad I get to be there and be part of the wedding.”
“I really am too.”
My worries about my wedding day are now mostly about Dad. I don’t know what to expect when I see him, or how I’ll feel. Every day the secrets between us drive me further away from him.
Lorelai and I talk about the wedding and she leaves right on the mark.
I head back into the hall to put the protective covering back over my dress, but I find Gytha inside, admiring it.
The sight of her makes my insides quiver, like jagged pieces of glass are slicing into me.
I’m not afraid of her, but I hate contention or any kind of unnecessary confrontation.
Since I’ve been in this house, she’s spoken to me one time only and it was vile. The other times I’ve seen her we haven’t spoken. That includes yesterday, which didn’t go well for her.
Her presence here in this room, near my wedding dress can’t be good.
“It’s very pretty,” she states, keeping her eyes on the dress. Instead of acknowledging me she circles the mannequin, lifting the light fabric of the hem, then allowing it to float back in place.
“Is there something you wanted?” If she were expecting me to say thanks, she’s not getting it. She’s not here to be nice to me and I know no matter how much I harden my skin, whatever jab she’s conjuring to throw at me is going to hurt.
“I just came to see what all the fuss was about.” She stops a few paces away and straightens with the elegance of a swan. “Sounded like you had fun yesterday.”
My heart constricts at the same time as my lungs. She’s talking about when she heard Desmier and I having sex in the dining room. “That’s none of your business.”
An arrogant smile spreads over her red lips and her haughty glare pierces into me. “Look at you, all defensive and loved up. Don’t fool yourself when it comes to Desmier Volkova. Whatever you think you have with him won’t last, so enjoy it while you can. When we go back to sea, he won’t even remember you. But I guess that’s why he has me.”
Just like last time she walks away leaving me feeling like shit. On this occasion her bite and sting have the same vindictive blow.
And the void in my heart grows wider.
Chapter29
Anastasia