“If you want me, Gio. I’m going to need to know that because I don’t feel it anymore.”
With that, I get out of the car and go into the house to pack my things. I wrap my arms around my middle and try to hold myself together. I’m walking away from my best friends and I’m not totally sure it’s the right thing to do.
Jace
“What the fuck just happened?” Gio says almost to himself.
I shake my head, trying to piece things together myself. My heart burns because I don’t think I can fix this one. I’ve held it off for as long as I could, but it’s been coming for a long time.
“I don’t know, but you need to start that fast-thinking shit before she’s gone.”
“Fuck,” he roars and punches the window so hard it cracks.
I glare at him and lift a brow. A lot of good that’s going to do us. He slumps down in his seat and covers his face with his hands.
“Something’s always trying to take her from me. She’s the only thing in this life I’ve wanted, but no matter what I do, something always stands in the way of that. I’m so fucking tired.”
“Nothing worth having comes easy.”
“I fucked up. I stopped doing my part. She’s right, I’ve been relying on you to give her things she wanted from me, not you, but I can’t… How can I protect her, give her what she wants, and do this?”
“Can I be honest?”
He’s silent for a moment. I don’t think he’s going to answer me at first.
“Bro, when the fuck aren’t you?”
I turn to look back at him and we lock eyes.
“You have to stop telling yourself what you can’t or shouldn’t have. You’re greater than that. It’s time to take our lives back. That’s what I’m hearing her say.”
“I’m not losing her. I don’t care who has to die. She wants to live. Andiamo, let’s go get our lives.”
CHAPTER 54
Something Missing
Gio
One year later…
I’m in the home gym, shirtless, with sweat dripping down my back as I punch and kick at the heavy bag in front of me. Fall Out Boy’s “The Phoenix” is blasting in the background, speaking to my mood. It’s Nyla’s birthday and we’re still not talking.
Letting her leave our home was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I knew I didn’t have what she wanted then. I needed time to set up this new board, the one where I crown my queen and take my kingdom. I don’t have it in me to abandon either.
I have to finish what I started. There’s a part of Ny who needs this as much as I do. Riccardo doesn’t get to win.
“Fuck,” I bellow.
My head is so fucked up. I didn’t buy her a gift this year, because I need something bigger than money to say how I feel. I need Ny to hear me. She needs to know I hear her.
I catch the heavy bag, then shove it away. This is getting me nowhere. I’m only punishing my body for something it didn’t do.
I turn and cut off the music. Grabbing a towel, I wipe my face, then toss it around my neck. I head for the kitchen to make a shake.
I’m right outside the kitchen when I overhear Jace with his phone on speaker. He’s talking to Ny. I’m surprised she’s finally answering his calls. She has cut us both off.
“It’s good to hear your voice,” he says.
“I figure you’re calling for my birthday. And I might need a favor.”
“Happy birthday, baby. What do you need?”
“It’s my sister. I’m not in Jersey. I’ve been gone for a while. She sounds off. Can you check on her?”
“Of course.”
“Jace, if she looks like she’s falling apart again, call me. I’ll come back.”
“You do know she quit the job at the rink? Something about focusing on her final semester.”
“No, I didn’t know that. How do I keep fucking up when it comes to her?”
“You’re not fucking up.”
“Yes, I am. I’m being selfish.”
“Baby, for the first time ever, I don’t think you are. You were at your breaking point. You need time to heal.”
“But I’m not healing. I’m hurting so bad, and I don’t know where to start. I don’t know what I want to do with my life. I have Gwen covering for me with Dad and that’s messing with their relationship. Lizzy sounds like she’s lost and I’m here miserable.”
“Then come back. We’ll figure it out together.”
“I can’t. I won’t hurt him like that. I can’t choose you and not him.”
“I’m not asking you to. I’m asking you to let him fix it.”
“Bye, Jace. Thanks for the call. Check on my sister, please.”
“I love you, Ny. I’m here whenever you need me.”
“I love you too. I haven’t stopped loving either of you.”
The call ends and I close my eyes. Lizzy, that’s the gift I’ll give her. I’ll give Lizzy the friend she needs. I’ll have a part of Ny and she’ll know her sister is okay.