“I had a reason for that. Yes, I need control, I crave it. But it was also to protect you.”
This time, I pipe in. “I can see that, but you can trust me to protect myself. I mean, I can take you down, can’t I?”
He rubs his thumb over his lip. “You can try. We have a gym in the back of the compound – maybe I can teach you to shoot too.” He smiles before continuing. “Alright, my turn. You said you wouldn’t make the same mistake twice. I think there’s more to that.”
I offer him a small, warm smile before I take a deep breath. He deserves answers, and it’s time to come clean. “When I was in undergrad, I met Aiden. He was my first boyfriend. The first few months, he was so sweet and encouraging, and I didn’t think twice about opening up to him. Then, after a year, something switched in him. He came from a very wealthy family. He wanted me to act a certain way, talk a certain way, justbea certain way that wasn’t me. There was a lot of verbal abuse, but I put up with it because I wanted to please him. I thought that relationships meant taking the good and the bad, even when it wasverybad.”
Alexander moves closer, pulling me into his lap. I sigh, melting into him for comfort as I continue. “I didn’t know any better. I became a shell of a person. He threatened that if I left him, he’d hunt me down, that words wouldn’t be the only thing that hurt. He thought that if he didn’t give me visible scars, no one would believe I was being abused.” Alexander strokes my hair, trying to calm me, anchor me.
“How did you leave?” he whispers when I stop talking.
I take a deep breath. “I called my dad and told him everything. Being the daughter of a police captain does have its perks. We got a restraining order, I got an apartment as I adjusted to life again, and I got into counseling. I got my tattoo and continued on through my Master’s. Raleigh felt like a place to start over, a place of new beginnings. You broke down a lot of walls, Alexander. You made me feel like I was ready to knock down the rest of them. Imagine the feeling of betrayal, lies, being a puppet in someone’s plan. It was like I was back with Aiden.” I trace his cheek with my finger.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” His voice is soft, like he’s worried I’ll break if he presses harder.
“It’s hard to open up to others when you’re used to being alone or refuse to be a weaker version of yourself.”
He doesn’t press me again. Instead, he asks the hard questions. “Where do we go from here? What do you want?”
I came prepared with an answer. “I want to move past this, maybe even build something together. I hear you, but I don’t know how long until my mind accepts it.”
He plants a kiss on my forehead. “I can wait. All I ask is that you don’t run.”
“What I’m hearing is you need me as much as I need you,” I say as his grins.
“Until the roads end and even in the after, Little Cub.” He kisses me as I melt further into his arms. He breaks the kiss sooner than I want, only to present a small, wrapped box.
“Happy birthday, Little Cub.”
I look at him with nothing but love in my eyes. I open the gift to find a dark green gem hanging on a Celtic knot in silver, the chain longer than normal. It’s too much; tears threaten to spill over.
“Alexander. This is too much.” He takes the box from my hands in response, moving to clasp the chain around my neck. I am in awe of this man.
“This doesn’t have a tracker does it?” I look back at him.
He snorts. “Do you really think that we’rethatcapable? No, Teresa. We’re not that tech savvy. We’re a club, not the mafia.”
He has a point. I wrap my arms around his neck as he lifts me from the couch and carries me back to the bedroom. What a perfect way to spend a Saturday.
Chapter 21
Saturdaywasblissful.Alexandermade it all better, with an absurd amount of warm-heartedness, tender-loving, and laughter. Seeing a giant ass man playing with a twenty-pound corgi definitely didn’t hurt. A weight has been lifted, after recognizing that both of us were responsible for our hurt. I’m working on trying to get past it, to forgive him.
Sunday is here and there’s more that needs to be done. I promised Rawlings information.
I wake up to my alarm; for once, Iwillbe on time. The bed is empty and lonely, cold to the touch, as if he's been gone for hours.
“Alexander,” I call softly, wondering if it’d all been a dream. I force myself out of bed, walking down the hallway, hearing no noises from the kitchen or living room. Seamus trails behind me, equally as confused. I peer through the open double doors of my library office. Be still my beating heart: Alexander’s entranced in a book, sitting by the window, not noticing as I lean on the door, gawking in amazement.
“You’re lucky we have a meeting soon and need to be on time,” I say, stirring him out of his trance.
He looks up with a devilish smile, peering at me over the book. “You and I both know I only need two minutes to make you come .”
I blush at the thought; I’m still recovering from yesterday. “I mean, you could test that theory in the shower. Kill two birds with one stone?” I look down at the floor, fiddling with the siding of the door. Alexander pulls me into him, throwing me up over his shoulders. “Mm, I’ll take that as a yes.”
I don’t even realize we’ve made it to the shower until I hear it start and feel Alexander begin to peel off my clothes.
“In. Hands on the wall,” he growls from between clenched teeth. Steam circles around us as I step in, letting the warm water run over my aching body. I’m patiently waiting for him, which proves to be more exhilarating than I thought it would. The curtain slides away as I hear Alexander join me. I want to turn away, but he ordered my hands on the wall.