I snort and groan at the same time. “What does she want now? Did she forget her broom?”
“Apparently, you forgot to look over the budgets? She went tattling to Sheldon.”
Motherfucker. I knew I was forgetting something. But I should have expected that this would happen, the first moment I forget or she finds an opening, she takes it. I bolt to Sheldon’s office. I’m careful, I’ve always been careful. There Carla sits, talking with Sheldon. What a snake of a woman. I want to reach across and yank her back by her fake red hair. The smug look on her face tells me I’m screwed, like she has Sheldon wrapped around her bony pinky.
“Sheldon, I’m so sorry..” I begin but am stopped by Sheldon’s hand, forcing my mouth to snap shut. I can feel my body start to tremble.
“Carla has already taken care of it. Look, I understand you’re overwhelmed, but all I asked was for you to look over the budgets. Thankfully, Carla was able to step in.” Carla grins like the bitch she is, acting like she already won. My blood is boiling. All I see is red.
“Sheldon, I’m truly sorry. I overlooked my to-do list. This wasn’t intentional.” I try to ease the situation.
Sheldon isn’t backing down. “Tessa, you’re a hard worker, but sometimes I worry this is going to be too much responsibility.” No one on the face of this earth wants to hear those words, the fear of being let go. I can feel the tears collecting behind my eyes. “Look, just try and do better. If not, maybe this is too big of a job for you.”
“I believe she can do it. She’s worked this hard,” pouts Carla, patting Sheldon’s hand. I want to yell, scream, and smash the condescending bitch in the face. But Sheldon’s words become an echo in my head, telling me I am not fit for this or anything else.
Instead, I just nod. “I understand, Sheldon. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have shelter check ins and supervision notes to complete.” I practically run out the door, putting on my brave face, not allowing anyone to see my emotions, when all I want is to shut out the world behind me.
“Tessa,” I hear Reva and Sam call out. I slam the door shut before they can get to me. I find the closest, non-breakable item, a Rubik’s cube, and chuck it across the office. Still seeing red, I swipe all my papers off my desk. I feel like a volcano erupting, rage spewing out of my pores. I find a pillow on one of my chairs and press my face hard against it, letting out screams of frustration. The release stings my throat. I sink down the wall, still holding the pillow to my face as I cry.
I hear the creak of the door open. “Boss lady?” The quiet call stills me. I need to gather myself. I can’t afford for anyone to see me like this. The door swings wider, and Reva and Sam softly plop down next to me. I look over at them, wiping the tears away, taking deep breaths.
“I’m okay.” I just want to get back to work.
“This is not fine. What happened?” Reva asks me. I stand up and walk around my desk to sit in my chair. I look around, seeing the papers on the floor, dents in the wall, not recalling if I threw anything else. Sam starts picking up the mess.
“Sam, leave it. Look everything is fine. Just give me a few minutes and I’ll be back to normal,” I snap. The blank stares are all I need to know that I screwed up.
Sam and Reva know I’m lying, but I won’t admit it. “Whatever you say, ladybug,” Reva says as they leave my office. I hang my head in disappointment. I let the anger explode. Before the door closes, Reva speaks again. “By the way, Jeremiah is on line 1.” The door closes behind her with a click.
Emotions are running high, and I feel I can’t see straight. I just want to call it a day, go home, and leave it all behind me. The light on my phone keeps blinking; I almost forgot Jeremiah’s waiting for me.
“This is Tessa.”
“Ms. Tessa, Ms. Tessa. You definitely know how to keep a man on his toes,” a small chuckle echoes through the receiver.
“Jeremiah, I don’t mean to be rude, but I am a tad busy. Is there a purpose to this call?” The attitude hangs thick in the air.
Jeremiah ignores my rude remark. “I told you I’d keep an ear out in the streets. I’ve noticed more and more people missing. Like one day they’re here and then gone.”
“I know section 8 recently opened up. Do you think they’re just getting help?”
I can practically hear his head shaking. “No ma’am. Jeremiah knows all. I swear, Ms. Tessa. Someone’s out here taking people and luring them to a trap. I thought I saw some vans earlier this weekend. Maybe the old eyes are playing tricks on me. But I had someone say that they were approached by someone else ensuring they had jobs and housing.”
I sigh. “Jeremiah, look. I know it seems strange. Do you have proof?”
“Yeah, yeah, just ask Ms. Aggie. She’ll tell you the truth.”
Feeling defeated, I scribble down on my to-do list to speak with Aggie. “Alright Jeremiah I will look into, please don’t do anything or look into this anymore.” I’d already put my suspicions in the back of my head, but I guess it’s time to revisit them.
Throughout the month, I’ve pushed aside the thoughts of someone hurting our homeless community. I can’t do anything without concrete proof. I have other items on my list to get through. March is ending and I have six months to oversee the shelter project and not screw up. I pack up my bag and decide to work from home.
I head out the door and tell Reva I’m finishing work at home and to call if she needs me. She gives me a small nod. I get in my car and the earlier emotions come back up. I can’t stand losing control like this.
I know I’ll have to talk to my friends about it, but now is not the time. The drive home is uneventful. I go to unlock my door and find it already open.Brittany. I do not have the time nor the energy to be around her, not today.I swing open the door and there she is, sitting on my couch, a fresh pizza and a glass of whiskey in hand.
“Reva messaged me code red. I’m here whether you want to talk or not.” She pats the couch and hands me the glass.Hello old friend.
“I’m sorry Britt,” is all I say before I’m a puddle of tears, staining her shirt. She wraps her arms around me and rocks me like a baby, soothing me, humming the tune our Grammy used to sing it to us as little kids.