“I found myself immediately opening up to him about our family and about Dad,” Ella continued, her voice breaking. “There was such goodness to him. I knew he could handle everything about me, even the messiest parts. After graduation, I immediately moved to Brooklyn to be with him. And a split-second later, it seemed like we formed a band. The fame was such a surprise. I wasn’t sure how to handle it. We traveled the country together, staying in crummy hotels or sleeping in the van. Sometimes, we talked about getting married. Other times, we laughed it off, asking ourselves why we needed some kind of ‘proof’ that we loved each other. During those years, The Copperfield House nightmare seemed like somebody else’s life. And then, eighteen years ago, Laura came, followed shortly by Danny.”
Ella sipped her wine and rolled her shoulders forward. She’d never told anyone the “story of her life” before, not like this. It felt strange to explain it all to her sisters. In some ways, her sisters were more like strangers than blood.
“It was so hard over the years to maintain the music schedule and raise children,” Ella continued. “Sometimes, we struck a pretty good balance, but more often than not, we found ourselves rolling through time and space without any concept of gravity. I can’t tell you when the love faded. Probably around the time we stopped making time to play music together. Probably around the time that Laura hit puberty and started fighting with us. Or, maybe, we just woke up one day and were completely different people.”
“When did Will move out?” Alana asked, her voice breaking.
“We’ve been falling apart for about a year now. I asked him to leave in May.”
Alana and Julia’s jaws dropped.
“But we saw you so much over the summer,” Alana said.
“You never mentioned a thing,” Julia breathed.
Ella shrugged. “Like I said. I never felt like I could rely on anyone except Will. And now?” Tears formed in her eyes and began to streak down Ella’s crumpled face. This was it— the wave of sorrow that she’d pushed aside for months.
Alana and Julia hustled around the snack table and wrapped Ella in a hug. Ella shook in their arms, her eyes closed.Was it better to be held like this? Did it actually help?She wasn’t sure. But in these moments, with the warmth of her sisters’ arms around her, she felt protected in a way she hadn’t since Will had left. That was something.
“And Danny. He…” Ella felt the words bubbling to the surface. The worry she had for her son felt suddenly too heavy to carry alone.
“What happened?” Alana’s eyes shimmered.
Again, Julia and Alana lifted up from Ella. Ella felt like a faucet that couldn’t be turned off. Everything burst out from her at once.
“He was taken to the hospital for alcohol poisoning two weeks ago,” Ella whispered, terrified at the story all over again. “Laura and I met Will in the emergency room. He was so, so angry. I had said that I would take care of our children. I was so sure that I could!”
“Oh my gosh.” All the blood drained from Julia’s face.
“But honey, that’s not your fault,” Alana pointed out. “Teenagers do insane things. Don’t you remember my story? Jeremy lost his scholarship because of that stupid accident after the beach party. He had to relearn how to walk.”
“Charlie and I drank in high school,” Julia added. “It wasn’t uncommon. We just had to experiment with our boundaries.”
Ella shook her head violently. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. You just can’t understand.” She swallowed the lump in her throat.
“Help us understand,” Julia begged.
Ella blinked back tears. “The city is not a kind place. Children are tempted with drugs and alcohol in a much different way. Because we’re not bringing in money with ticket sales and new albums anymore, I had to take two jobs to make ends meet. I’m not home as much as I should be. I can’t monitor Danny’s whereabouts. And I’m so terrified that this is going to happen again! What if he accidentally kills himself just because he doesn’t know where his boundaries are?”
Ella gasped with panic and smacked her hand over her mouth. Again, Alana and Julia bent down to hug her, this time with more force. Ella hadn’t even thought that before, let alone said it. Yet here it was, the truth: she was terrified that Danny would die.
After a long while, Julia released from the hug and dabbed the sleeve of her expensive-looking gown across her cheeks. She eyed the snack table and shivered, clearly at a loss for what to say. “We have to make a plan for how to get you through this.”
“There’s no plan,” Ella whispered. “I’m just going back to Brooklyn. I’m going to make things work.”
Julia sighed. “I don’t know. I just don’t know.” Her eyes turned from Alana to Ella and back again. “I think we should change into our pajamas and have a little food. There’s so much of it left. And I know I haven’t bothered to eat all day long.”
“I’m starving,” Alana admitted.
Food was the furthest thing from Ella’s mind. She wrapped her hands around her elbows and stared at the floor.
“Come on, Ella,” Julia breathed. She tugged at Ella’s hand like a child.
But before Ella could find the strength to stand, a familiar voice became like music in the beautiful library. “Ella, darling.”
The three Copperfield daughters turned to find their mother, Greta, easing through the orange light of the room. Greta had changed into her robe and removed much of her makeup, yet still, she looked regal, like a queen. When she grew closer, her eyes shimmered with tears.
“Ella, I don’t know how to tell you this.” Greta dropped into the chair beside Ella and gripped her hands.