After their masks had been pulled off and Noelle had scrubbed the snail slime from her face, Hannah disappeared back to her office to do more work, and Miriam went out onto the porch. Noelle thought about wandering into the trees to get some time alone, since the past several hours of interpersonal interaction were far over her comfortable limit, but the Old Ladies had her curious, and she was willing to pretend civility if only to pacify Hannah. She found Miriam bundled up on the porch swing.
“I brought you some cocoa as a peace offering,” Noelle said, sitting down next to her. Miriam glanced over from inside her blanket cocoon, only her wild hair and hazel eyes showing. She scrunched her eyebrows at the mug of cocoa.
Noelle smirked. “It has three shots of espresso in it.”
Miriam snaked one arm out of the blankets to grab the cup. “That’s very kind. Thank you.”
Noelle rested one arm across the back of the swing and stretched her legs out, trying to figure out how to begin building a bridge between them.
“Are you here because Hannah told you to be nice to me?” Miriam asked, looking ethereal as the steam from her cup coiled up around her face.
“Yes,” said Noelle. “I thought I might try the unheard-of tactic of getting to know you before I decide if I hate you or not.”
Miriam chuckled. “You should spread the word of this tactic to the internet.”
They fell into silence for a few minutes before Miriam spoke again.
“I didn’t know about Levi and Hannah.”
Noelle wasn’t sure why Miriam was telling her this. “Why did you think he wasn’t here? Being an asshole? Didn’t care about his parents’ grief? Stuck on a boat?”
Miriam blew out a breath. “You know how they make cake pops? Cake scraps and frosting smooshed together in someone’s hands and then covered in a pretty coating?”
She nodded, waiting to see where Miriam was going with this.
“I’m kind of like that, right now, except made up of trauma and grief instead of cake and frosting. I knew he wasn’t here, I just hadn’t processed how strange that was. Everything is strange, right now.”
“That description of yourself does not inspire confidence in me, as a potential business partner,” Noelle said, without animosity. She understood trying to hold the little bits of yourself together when you lost people you loved.
Miriam held her hands up. “I’m not going to lie to you to get you to like me.”
“Does finding out about Levi and Hannah change anything for you?” Noelle asked, wondering if Miriam was angry or jealous to be on the outside of what had always been a triad.
“No, it just makes me sad they never told me. And I get why you thought I abandoned Hannah when she needed me. I didn’t know. I wish I had.” She shrugged.
Noelle didn’t point out that it was Miriam’s fault she didn’t know. Besides, she’d promised Hannah a truce, and she was too hollowed out by grief to keep trading barbs. “Let’s talk about something that’s not…any of this.”
Miriam nodded, staring out at the night, her blanket wrapped around her. “What’s it like to be the lone lesbian out here in the wilderness?” she teased.
“How do you know I’m a lesbian?” Noelle countered.
Miriam cut her eyes over. “Could it be the framed commemorative Melissa Ferrick poster I can see peeking out from behind your door? The well-loved copies ofRubyfruit JungleandOranges Are Not the Only Fruiton your office bookshelf? The fact that you dress like the December cover girl forDapper Butches Monthly? I’m a queer from Arizona, one of the reddest states in the nation.” Miriam shook her head and the swing moved underneath her. “I am a finely tuned divining rod for subtle clues and low-key signals that a lady might like other ladies. Also,” she pointed out, “literally no one has ever met you and not known you’re a lesbian.”
Noelle snorted. It was very annoying that Miriam was funny.
“Good to know my queer coding is working as intended. IsDapper Butches Monthlyreal, because I need to fire every gay on Earth for not telling me about it.”
Miriam giggled.
She turned toward Miriam before quickly looking away again. No one should be that beautiful.
“I’m not theonlyone,” she explained, getting back to Miriam’s question. “Elijah and his husband have been amazing about building a crew and have graciously let me in. But it’s true that there’s a distinct lack of sapphic companionship. Which is fine.” She kicked Miriam’s feet with her boots, when Miriam looked skeptical, and rubbed her hands along her thighs.
“My love life hasn’t existed for a long time, and that’s my preference. I decided to stop dating years ago, and it’s worked out for the best.”
To change the subject, Noelle said, “So uh…whatdoyou do for a living? I know you’re famous on Instagram, and you do something with antiques? I probably should have checked your account. I maybe made some assumptions based on wanting to dislike you.” She cleared her throat around that admission. “Cass made it sound like you were an international jet-setting antiques dealer, but that’s probably not a thing.”
The night was deepening. The world had dropped twenty degrees, it felt, in the span of a few sentences. The farm was quiet. It made the porch feel like a miniature world that only the two of them occupied.