It was the summer of 1999 when his old man showed him the black and silver machine.
“Take it home, figure out how to use it. Nobby’ll show you the ropes next week, but I want you to have a handle on it by then.”
Noah nodded, the earth shifting the way he did when he saw that red box of pencils. “I’m gonna do the patches?”
“Yup, but you better not fuckin’ ink yourself or I’ll kick your head in. I don’t need more reasons for your mum to get the cops onto me.”
But two days later he’d given himself a Ranger helmet on the inside of his left arm. His dad didn’t kick his head in, he gave him a beer.
“You’re a Ranger now,” he’d said, and Noah’s dumb thirteen-year-old heart had almost burst.
***
Noah woke up five minutes before his alarm went off. That was standard, as was the hard-on throbbing between his legs. The dull unease was new. Especially without an alcohol fug in his mouth or the burned taste buds that said he’d smoked a full deck the night before. For a second he lay there, unsure what his problem was. The answer came in a hot wave—Nicole on her back, around his fingers, squealing and moaning and…
“Fuck.”
He’d finger-fucked Nicole on his chair. His boss’ twin. His mentor’s daughter. The recently separated accountant and tightass he’d been hard for since day one. He’d told himself he’d never go there and he’d failed. Now he was due at a staff meeting with her in less than an hour. He closed his eyes against the morning light, replaying the way Nicole looked arching back into his chair, thrashing as she came. She’d been sopping wet, so small it was like she’d never been fucked before. He wrapped a palm around his throbbing dick and gave it a slow pull. She was so goddamn needy for it. Maybe she didn’t like that about herself, but she was. The things he could do to that tight little—
“Nuh.” Noah yanked his hand away from his dick. Not happening. Didn’t happen last night, wasn’t going to happen today. He picked up his pack of Bennies and stuck one in his mouth. Not the best habit, but what was the point of owning your place if you couldn’t smoke in bed?
He took a deep drag on his cigarette. He’d thought—hoped—some of Nicole’s appeal was the sexy librarian thing, but last night she’d been barefoot and barefaced, and he’d almost had a heart attack when she showed up to help him with the pay system. Shame he couldn’t say anything good or nice or even constructive to her. Shame he’d let her get all jealous over Daniella, enjoyed it, then made her come in his tattoo room so their situation was more fucked up than ever. His gut cramped, sending sharp pangs burrowing into his chest like eels. This dumbfuck infatuation was going to kill him. He ashed into his bedside mug and got up. He pulled on a RCVC t-shirt and jeans and headed downstairs, a fresh Benson already between his teeth. Paula was sitting at the kitchen table, her knees pulled up to her chest as she watched something on her phone. She looked a little bizarre, with her teenage body language and fiftysomething face.
“Morning,” she said. “Coffee?”
He shook his head. “Meeting. What are you doing today?”
“I’ve got a bakery shift at one,Dad. I promise I won’t nick any of your smokes while you’re out. God, you don’t stop, do you?”
It often occurred to him that Paula was the only person in the world who thought he was chatty or overprotective. That made sense, but it was still a strange thing. “I’m heading off. I’ll see you later tonight.”
“Whatever,” she said, returning to her video. “I’m going out tomorrow night, by the way. Around seven.”
Her high, determined tone made him turn. “Shredder?”
“No. AA.”
Noah took in her flush, the way her fingers twisted at her phone. “Seriously?”
“Yes! God!”
“Okay. I’ll see you at home at nine then.”
She lifted her chin. “Fine.”
“How’d you sleep?”
Paula shrugged. “How about you?”
He’d slept like dogshit, but he couldn’t say it without her pressing for why. “Alright. See you later.”
Paula pointed to the leather jacket waiting on the kitchen bench. “It’s cold outside. You gonna wear it today?”
Noah suppressed a wince. “You didn’t have to give it to me.”
“You’ve been letting me stay with you for free, it’s the least I can do.”
“Alright.” He walked over to the jacket and slung it on feeling like a viper trapped in another snake’s skin. Paula smiled. “It looks great. How’s it feel?”