But hadn’t I known I wouldn’t? I couldn’t help but think about the fact that I hadn’t seen Fenrir in the vision I’d had about my children. I’d seen the boy I carried now and his she-wolf sister, but Fenrir hadn’t been there.
Because it had been written in some fate that I wouldn’t raise him?
The ache pierced my heart again, and I almost let out a cry when I realized I wasn’t alone in the room. I hadn’t turned on the light because my eyes are pretty good and I hadn’t been planning on staying long, but now I could see red eyes staring at me from the darkness.
Something was in the corner of the room, something large and demonic. Those eyes were definitely demonic. They burned from the darkness.
“Gray?”
“I don’t know if I should be here, but I can’t seem to make myself leave.” His voice sounded deeper than I’d remembered. “Please don’t turn on the light.”
There was a glow from the bathroom that gave me some illumination. We were deep underground, so if Eddie hadn’t made sure there were nightlights around the place, we would be in pitch dark. My eyes are good, but not that good. Still, with the soft blue light coming from the crack in the door, I could start to make out Gray.
“Okay. I can do that.” My heart hurt at the thought that so much had changed he didn’t want me to see him. Or perhaps he didn’t want to see me. “Why do you think you shouldn’t be here? Is it because twelve years made you change your mind?”
“Change my mind?”
“About me. About us.” I wasn’t going to tell him about the baby. I would, but I didn’t want a decision about me based on the fact that my womb worked. Honestly, if he didn’t still want me, I doubted he would want the baby.
“I could never change my mind about you.” The words came out aching and tortured.
Ah, but he could change his mind about us. He’d done that a dozen times over the course of our relationship. I wasn’t sure I could handle this conversation again. “It’s amazing that twelve years doesn’t change a thing. Go away, Gray. I don’t want to do this tonight. If you want a divorce… Do we have paperwork? I was going to tell you to send me the paperwork, but the Council doesn’t exist anymore. Well, that makes things simpler. There. We’re divorced. Carry on in your new job serving the Dark Lord.”
I heard a low growl and knew he was going to be difficult. But then that had probably been the point of him coming here tonight. Gray was always difficult.
I wasn’t ready to deal with difficult. My heart hurt. I was tired.
“You won’t get rid of me so easily.” The words came out as a silky threat.
I was sure for some women those deep, dark words would scare them, but not me. Those words held a promise coming from Gray. Anyone besides my husbands would get a swift kick in the ass for saying those words to me. From my husbands, those words made my panties drop.
Usually. Tonight I found them annoying because he didn’t truly mean it. “You know you could have called and avoided the whole hiding in the corner thing.”
I saw his shadow rise and realized he wasn’t in his human form. His demonic form was at least a foot taller. When Gray went demonic he got these hot as hell horns, and he seemed to expand.
I’d been told by an archangel that there was nothing inherently wicked about demons. Like everyone on all the planes, they chose how to handle their souls. I’d never been able to get Gray to understand that there was nothing wrong with his demonic form. His demon had done nothing but love and protect me.
I thought his demon was sexy and beautiful, but he withheld this part of himself from me.
It was an old argument between us, a wall I was too tired to try to climb.
“You want to see what twelve fucking years without you has done to me, wife?”
“You could have avoided those twelve years by figuring out a way to tell me to not get close to that painting, Gray.” I didn’t want to be logical. I’d lost twelve years with my son, and Gray had known it would happen.
The light came on, though neither of us was close to the switch. It was a magical switch, of course, and apparently Gray was good at controlling it. That was a difference. He hadn’t used to be able to do anything like that.
Of course he also hadn’t had such magnificent horns. They were longer, curling around three times, and his eyes had taken on a red hue.
“Obviously made you even hotter.” I gestured up and down that sexy bod of his. I had to tilt my head to look up. “Is this all you have to say, Gray? Because if so, you can go and I’ll wait for Trent and our son. You know the one you apparently abandoned.”
“I scared him.” Gray practically roared the words.
“Dude, don’t yell. Eddie brought brownie helpers with him, and you will scare them. As to scaring Fenrir, yeah, if you showed up like this when he was a kid, you probably scared him. Did you even try? Did you offer to give him a ride on your shoulders? He could have held on to your horns and had a fun time, and then he’s not scared of his demon dad anymore. Did you, Gray? Or did you get your feelings hurt by a nine-year-old and run away like you always do?” I knew I was being a bitch, but he deserved it. He’d left Trent and Fen. Fen didn’t even call him Dad.
“Fenrir was scared, and it wasn’t merely about Gray’s appearance. When he comes back from the Hell plane, he requires a period of decompression. We weren’t ready for that the first time.” Trent strode into the room, stopping in front of me and putting a hand on my hip as he leaned over. “Let me handle him.”
“You handle him?” I was curious about that phrasing.