“My woman just said the same thing to me, voicing her concern.” Afanasiv offered nothing else. He simply sat there, waiting for the others to draw their conclusions. Idly, he began to thread his fingers through hers and then bring her hand to his chest, press her open palm over his heart so she heard the combined music of their heartbeats.
Vasilisa found herself uncomfortable with the way Ivory and Razvan continued to study Afanasiv. It wasn’t as if they were rude and just stared at him. It was more as if when they did look at him, they could strip away every shield and see inside where he had memories he hadn’t yet dealt with. She felt so protective of her lifemate, she wanted to stand in front of him and be his shield.
They try, but they cannot,he assured her.Thank you for caring, my lady.
“You are Dragonseeker?” Dimitri asked. “In all the time I have known you, Siv, you never mentioned this to me.”
“I do not speak of it,” Afanasiv admitted. “Dragonseeker is a revered name and one that is often spoken aloud with awe and respect. I do not deserve those accolades. I have not earned them. Perhaps, if I do, I will change my mind and use the name I was given at birth.”
Razvan frowned over his steepled fingers. “I do not recall ever hearing that you dishonored the name of Dragonseeker. I, on the other hand, have often been accused of doing so. Dragonseeker is a lineage. It is a birthright. The blood runs in your veins. You cannot falsely claim it.”
Afanasiv didn’t respond to Razvan’s observation. He sat quietly, his features without expression, but beneath that serene, calm exterior, Vasilisa knew there was a feral, dangerous predator far too close to the surface feeling trapped. She did her best to soothe him when she didn’t know why he was feeling the way he was.
Let’s leave this place,she suggested again.
He shook his head. “If taken, we can change the composition of our blood so it is useless to those in the underworld. Lilith and the high mage struck a deal some centuries back with the idea that they would both benefit. Xavier wanted to be immortal. Lilith was determined to rule without interference.”
Afanasiv fell silent even though the expectation in the room was very high. Vasilisa knew what it would cost him to continue. Those memories that had been misfiled on purpose.
You were taken to the underworld more than once,she guessed.
I was there three times. I was never taken. I found my way all three times.His tone was abrupt.The memory you accessed was the last time I was there, not the first.
Her heart jumped and then began to pound. She hastily stifled the sound. He immediately soothed her, sending her warmth and comfort.It was many centuries ago, my lady, and I survived. My parents did not. I fear my soul did not, either.
Vasilisa allowed her lashes to veil her eyes. Just for a moment she leaned against him, needing his strength. Such a simple, matter-of-factstatement.I survived. My parents did not. I fear my soul did not.That said nothing and yet said everything. It was no wonder he didn’t want to resurrect those lost memories. He wanted them to stay lost.
The memories were painful, and he knew it. He must have deemed it necessary to tell the others or they would already be gone, somewhere the two of them could be alone together. Anywhere not where they were. Vasilisa could only surround him with her growing affection, admiration and warmth. He had warned her, and she hadn’t listened to him. This was on her.
He sacrificed a tremendous amount for others, and he wasn’t even aware of it. He didn’t view emotional damage as sacrifices. He simply did whatever he had to in order to get the job done. Whenever she felt she couldn’t admire him more, he did something else, something new to gain her respect.
“I saw evidence of Xavier consulting with demons on many occasions,” Razvan said, that frown still on his face as he contemplated the information Afanasiv gave to them. “He was always obsessed with blood, mine in particular and that of my children and aunts. They are Dragonseeker, as well. Like you said, the composition was changed to make it useless for him to experiment with. There were times the blood changed on its own without my aid. I was too far gone, weak and did not know what was happening to me.”
Afanasiv suddenly leaned forward. “The obsession with Dragonseeker started centuries before Xavier became part of it. My mother was trapped by Lilith and her demons and taken to the underworld. My father and I followed to bring her back.” For the first time, there was emotion in his voice, and it was difficult to hear. Loathing filled the room, but not for Lilith and the demons. It was for himself.
Knots formed in Vasilisa’s belly. The others in the room had no way of knowing that Afanasiv’s revulsion centered around his actions, not those of the demons. She dreaded what he was going to tell them. All along, there had been a warning, a red flag telling her things were best left alone. This was going to affect her—affect them. Whateverhe was about to reveal was going to be a blow that had the potential of tearing them apart—at least Afanasiv believed that was so. His crime was so terrible that he had changed his name and refused to use Dragonseeker.
Don’t.She implored him.I don’t want to lose you, Afanasiv. Whatever this is, we can deal with it first alone. Don’t do this.
His fingers tightened around hers, and he looked down at her. His eyes were cobalt blue. Sad. The weight of his sorrow pressed down on her until she wanted to weep a river for both of them.I have no choice, sívamet. If I do not give them the truth, let them know, they have no chance of figuring out what Lilith is after. Xavier and his brother are a nuisance, but it is Lilith who is threatening our lineage. She has to be stopped.
What of us?
You have the right to know what I did. I should have told you before I claimed you. That was wrong of me. Another sin to add to so many.
Vasilisa attempted to pull her hand away. She wanted to curl up into herself and escape the scrutiny of Ivory and Razvan. She wanted to go outside and allow her wolf the freedom to run as far and as fast as she could. Anything but stay and listen to Afanasiv confess to those in the room things she knew were going to be terrible for her to hear.
Let go of me please.
I cannot. I need your courage to do this, Vasilisa. Stay with me.
You have no idea what you’re asking of me.
I do know. And yet I still ask.
His thumb slid along the back of her hand. His gaze never left hers. She was drowning in him. Surrendering to his will. Weak with the need to help him when she really needed to help herself. She stopped trying to pull away and nodded.
Thank you, lifemate. You are beloved, whether you agree to stay with me after this or not.