‘Tommy... Tommy suffered more from Cecily’s lack of parenting skills.’ Grace lost herself in the telling because it was cathartic and because she was desperate to tell himeverything. ‘I filled in the best I could but there was always disappointment when sports day arrived and Mum wasn’t there. He was very talented on the playing field. Loved his rugby. He was climbing up the ladder, had been scouted and the future was looking bright but then he had an accident. A severe one and all those dreams came to an end.’ Grace chewed her lip, remembering those painful days.
‘I... I’m very sorry to hear that.’
‘It was a very bad time all round. Worst of all was that just around then, as luck would have it, Mum found her guy. All that time, all those mistakes, but she found her guy. A great guy from Australia. A proper outback rancher who swept her off her feet. She married and then, very shortly after, emigrated to Australia.’
‘She left you to take charge.’
‘It happens.’ Grace pressed her hands to her heated cheeks. ‘Tommy was in hospital for ages and when he finally came out, he faced a long, hard struggle to get back on his feet, literally. Lots of physio, lots of setbacks and lots of therapy so that he could deal with what had happened.’ She looked around her at the small, nondescript sitting room.
‘I had to do my best for my brother. I got him somewhere small but specially adapted to suit his needs. And then the therapist. All private and none of that comes cheap, which is why I live here even though I’ve been paid a lot over the years. I’m babbling, I know, but, Nico...’ Her voice trailed away into silence.
Nico listened. Every word was fresh hurt. He knew he shouldn’t feel betrayed but he did, because she had a side to her, aworldto her that she had denied him.
He thought of the flowers he had bought and the final hurdle he had overcome to let his defences down and thinking about that made him sick to the stomach.
He’d opened himself up, admitted his own vulnerability but he had fatally misread the signals. She had never allowed him in because what she felt for him had never been on a par with what he felt for her.
He had made a terrible mistake. Nico felt he was drowning under the weight of misplaced assumptions and a reckless optimism in something that had always been a chimera.
He stood up.
‘It was a mistake coming here, Grace.’ He moved towards the door and rested his hand on the doorknob and then said, over his shoulder, looking at her for the last time, ‘When I leave here, you won’t see me again. Don’t try and contact me. The past has gone and that door is now closed for good.’ He smiled heavily. ‘Adieu for the last time.’
CHAPTER TEN
‘SOWHATAREyou going to do about it?’
Grace looked at her brother, the very same brother she had conditioned herself to believe would always be her responsibility. The very same brother, she now realised, who was perfectly capable of looking after himself. She smiled ruefully.
‘He doesn’t love me. Hey...since when are you the one dishing out the sensible advice?’ But the smile had turned into a grin and for a split second she almost forgot her chaotically beating heart, the very heart that had been wrenched from her chest when Nico had walked out of the house.
Tommy looked at her seriously. ‘This is a crossroads for us, sis. From now on, we’re equals and, as such, I’m telling you that if you love this guy, then tell him, because if you don’t you’ll spend the rest of your life regretting it.’
‘Okay.’ Grace felt a slow fire begin to burn inside her. ‘Maybe you’re right. No. Youareright. So, Tommy...’ she walked as she talked, throwing words over her shoulder ‘...if you don’t mind, I’m going to love you and leave you and...’ She dashed to where he was sitting and hugged him tightly before standing back. ‘Next time I see you, I want to see this girlfriend of yours. Understood?’
‘Wouldn’t have it any other way, sis.’
Of course, Grace knew where her boss lived. Like so many bits and pieces of information, it was just something else she had picked up along the way.
She didn’t know whether he was going to return to his house or when.
She had no idea if, having walked out of her life, he might decide to return to the date he had abandoned.
She would wait.
She had enough on her mind to wait a thousand years and still have more thoughts to process.
The sprint to the Underground was breathing space she needed. She wanted to analyse everything he had said to her and every shifting expression on his face, but a sense of urgency jumbled all her thoughts.
He’d been so shocked to find out about Tommy and she could understand why. He had always been a man to value his privacy, but he had ended up sharing a great deal with her and so to discover that there had been major things she had chosen to keep to herself would have hurt.
She had babbled out all the confidences he had been denied but she could remember the shutters that had slammed over his dark eyes, locking her out.
Grace knew that she had had the option to walk away. He had come bearing flowers and an invitation back to his bed, which was not what she wanted. If he had been hurt by the fact that she had guarded her private life from him, thenshehad had her fair share of suffering, knowing that she had fallen for someone who was incapable of returning her love.
The line could have been drawn underneath it all. Nico would never have returned. His adieu would truly have been final.
But Tommy had been right and she would have reached the same conclusion sooner rather than later. To live with regret was to live a half-life and she would have had a lot of regrets.