As if to confirm what she was thinking, he said, in low voice, ‘Be honest with me, Grace. I value you and if you’re storing things up...well, that’s a recipe for disaster. You’re the best PA I’ve ever had. I don’t want you to suddenly quit on me because...you have issues with me...’ He shot her one of those devastating smiles that could make her melt from the inside out. One of those smiles that, in the past, had made her tingle with warmth on the inside even though, on the outside, she had always been able to remain perfectly composed. Unfortunately, because she was fighting for composure, that smile made her feel horribly exposed and vulnerable.
And the twinkle in his dark eyes riled her because she could sense just the tiniest bit of mischief there, however sincere he might be. He’d crossed no boundaries for so long that he was having fun stomping all over them now.
So he wanted her to be honest? Well, why not?
Maybe, in fact, it would dilute this crazy spell he seemed to have over her. Who was to say that all these cloak and dagger, childish yearnings didn’t contribute to her ill-advised crush? Didn’t clandestine relationships flourish in the thrill of secrecy only to fizzle out the minute they were subjected to the glare of tedious, out-in-the-open reality?
It might be her nature to guard her personal life, purely from habit, but if she opened up a bit, then whatever curiosity Nico might be nurturing about her because he had happened to see her out of context would be killed dead in its tracks.
She would become what he was accustomed to. He had the sort of lively mind that enjoyed pushing the boundaries. If she had suddenly become one of those boundaries he might be interested in pushing, then getting their working relationship onto a slightly more normalised footing might not be such a bad thing.
If he wanted to invite her to ask questions, then why shouldn’t she?
She harked back to what he had said and picked up the thread.
‘I don’t tell you how to run your life, Nico, but now you’re asking, I really disapprove of the way you treat women.’
‘The wayI treat women? You mean with frankness, generosity and consideration?Thatway?’
‘You break hearts. I know that. I’ve dealt with those weeping broken hearts down the end of the telephone.’
‘I’m always honest. You couldn’t find a more honest guy than me. Women always know the score from the very beginning. Nothing long term. Nothing permanent. But while it lasts, they become my sole preoccupation and I am lavish when it comes to spending on them.’
‘They know the score?’ Grace’s eyebrows shot up. ‘There aren’t many women who start going out with a guy knowing that it isn’t going anywhere...no woman is a mind-reader.’
‘Then that’s not my fault because I’m very truthful with all of them. I lay my cards on the table and tell it like it is.’
‘Do you? Literally?’
‘I don’t like misunderstandings so I spell it all out in no uncertain terms from the get-go. No cosy meals in...no holding hands in front of the telly in the evening...no meeting the parents...no chats about future plans and no idly gazing into jewellery stores and musing about the joys of family life... In fact, not even sleepovers. I like my space to myself.’
Bombarded by the sort of unequivocal information she had always suspected but never had confirmed, Grace could only look at Nico with her mouth half open and he burst out laughing and held her astonished gaze for a few seconds longer than necessary.
‘Okay, maybe it’s not quite as bold as that, but I always tell them that I’m not interested in anything long term and they get the message on the rest pretty soon afterwards.’
‘But why?’
‘But why what?’ Nico frowned.
‘I mean...’ She turned bright red as she realised that the question-and-answer session was in danger of overstepping its brief.
‘You mean,’ Nico said coolly, ‘why I’m not interested in chasing after happy-ever-after scenarios?’
‘Most people do want to find love...a companion...a soulmate, if you will...’
‘Is thatyouraim? Was that what you were looking for when you decided to go with that Internet guy?’
Grace tilted her chin at a defensive angle. She didn’t want to be reminded of that mistake but, then again, wasn’t it better to be hopeful of finding love than to accept that it was never going to happen?
She might approach life from a different direction than her mother had, but, in the end, weren’t their aims similar?
Of course, there was no way she would ever be prepared to kiss a thousand frogs on her way to finding her prince, as her mother had been prepared to do, but hadn’t her mother at least had that goal in sight? And she had found that prince.
If you never had that goal to aim for, then surely life would be a little empty?
If Nico was curious about her, Grace was honest enough to admit that it was mutual.
But this curiosity? It had to be leashed. She knew that. Yet, she wondered what had informed his choices and she was so desperate to ask that she had to clamp shut her jaw.