“She won’t want to hear from me.”
“How do you know that?”
“Just the vibe I got.”
“Oh, well, in that case, yeah, let her go. We all know how good you are with women and vibes,” he says sarcastically. I roll my eyes.
“When will you be in town?” I ask, trying to change the subject.
“Two weeks.”
“I’ll see you then.”
“Yeah, yeah. See ya.”
We hang up, and I scrub my hand down my face. Maybe Wesley is right, and I do have it all wrong. It’s not like I have any real experience with women. What do I know? Maybe she wanted me to chase after her or make some grand gesture. Could Gwen really be happy with me and my scars, both inside and out?
My mind flashes to how her face lit up whenever she talked about kids or teaching. She has all of these creative ideas for her classroom and has the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever met. There’s so much room for her to love her students and her brood of children at home. I know I didn’t make that part up.
You can’t be what she needs. You need to just let her go. Forget about Gwen.
Even as I think the words, I know they are bullshit. Let her go? Forget about her? Not fucking likely. I never told her this, but she was my first, too. My first everything. Never felt anything for anyone until Gwen showed up. And now she’s gone, and I’m not sure what the fuck to do about it.
I need to get out of this house. I’m just wallowing in my misery, and it’s time for me to focus on the horses and what needs to be done around this place.
I head outside, trying to let the sunny day brighten my mood, but all I can think about is what Gwen could be doing right now.
I find myself walking down the road toward my brother Griz’s house, and I know before I knock on his door why I’m here.
Monty and Gwen are close friends. They go to school together and text all of the time. I’m going to try to feel out how Gwen is doing.
It’s pathetic how desperate I am for an update on my girl, and I think back to what Wesley said. Maybe he’s right, and I should just go talk to her. I’ll lay all of my cards on the table and then go from there.
The door swings open, and I force a smile to my lips when I see Monty standing there.
“Hey, Remy,” Monty greets me with a friendly smile.
“Hey. Is Griz in?” I ask and she shakes her head.
“No, sorry. I think he went to town? Or maybe he’s helping Kai with something? I’ve been so scatterbrained with school starting up again that I can’t keep track.”
“Yeah? How are your classes this semester?” I ask, shoving my hands into my jeans.
“Good. I like that I’m finally done with the general education classes and can just focus on my degree.”
“I’ll bet,” I say lamely as I try to think of some way to turn this conversation to Gwen.
“How’s Gwen?” I blurt out, and I want to kick myself.
Real smooth.
“Um, she’s good,” she says hesitantly. I can tell by the way she looks away from me that she’s lying.
“Tell me the truth. Is she alright?” I ask, my heart stuck in my throat. What if she’s sick and I wasn’t there?How could you be there when you refuse to acknowledge her?
“Yeah, she’s fine,” Monty answers. “She seemed stressed and tired the last time I saw her, but I think it’s just her class load this semester.”
“She shouldn’t be working so hard,” I say, worry starting to gnaw at me.