Is she eating enough? Getting enough sleep?
I should be there with her, dammit. She needs me to look out for her.
Then what are you waiting for?
I don’t realize I’m growling until Monty gives me a look. I swear she knows exactly what I’m thinking, but she doesn’t say anything.
“Sorry,” I mumble, making her smile and shrug.
“I really need to get back, Remy. Sorry I couldn’t help more. I have homework already.”
“Sure, no problem.”
“Oh, there’s Griz and Kai now. I’ll see you later though.”
I nod and turn to face my brothers.
“Hey, what are you doing here?” Griz asks with a wide smile.
“I came to see what you guys were up to,” I lie.
“Just checking fences,” Kai says, and I nod.
“Well, I should get back to it,” I say after a beat of awkward silence, and they both frown.
“No, what you should do is go after Gwen,” Kai tells me matter of factly.
“I can’t,” I tell him with a sigh, and he shakes his head.
“You need to get out. Let’s go to Bleachers Bar tomorrow. I know that Monty could use a break, and we can relax together for a bit,” Griz suggests, and Kai nods.
“I’m in. What about you?” Kai asks, and I can’t think of a reason to say no.
Plus, if Monty comes, maybe she’ll bring Gwen, and I can see her again. Just for a little bit.
“Sure. Sounds fun.”
They both grin at me, and I force myself to smile back at my brothers as we finalize plans for tomorrow night.
SEVEN
Gwen
“It will be fun. I promise,”Monty says as she turns back in her seat to smile at me.
“Sure,” I say, forcing myself to smile back at her as Malia starts the car.
This is the first time that we’ve really all been together since Malia got back from Los Angeles and school started. We’ve seen each other in passing, and Malia and I see each other every day, but it’s different with Monty out at the Stud Farm. I’ve missed her, which is why I let her talk me into coming out tonight.
It’s Friday, and we’re headed to Bleachers Bar to celebrate making it through our first week of classes. It feels wrong to be celebrating anything, though. I could barely concentrate in any of my classes this week, and I’ve gained five pounds from comfort eating nachos and pasta for the last five days.
I stayed in bed the entire day I first got home from the Stud Farm. Couldn’t even drag myself out of bed for dinner. When I woke up the next day, I had almost convinced myself it was a terrible nightmare. I even rolled over, half expecting to find Remy next to me. My heart broke all over again when I opened my eyes to find myself all alone.
Always alone.
Monty and Malia chat away in the front of the car while I try to gather my thoughts. Leaning my forehead against the cool glass of the window, I close my eyes and ground myself in the moment. It’s no use, though. I’m a complete mess. My emotions are all over the place, and with my newfound insomnia, it’s taking all of my energy just to function.
I keep switching from being pissed at Remy for letting me go, to sad at what we lost. We could have been so great together and I don’t get why he didn’t see that. Was I terrible in bed? Was I just a conquest for him?