“Oh dear.” I don’t touch anything. Not the open box of Rice Krispies exploded on the floor, and definitely not the tube of super glue in Aubree’s hands. I don’t pick up the mug that lies on its side, and when a cat—different from the first one—scurries past my feet, I don’t bend to pet it. “I feel like maybe Tim didn’t tolerate Colin very well.”
“He doesn’t get to ‘tolerate’ anyone! He has a girlfriend, Minka. A girlfriend who walked in at the same time Tim was talking to me.” She stops gluing and turns to me with a snarl. “Doesn’t she even know what a shirt is?”
“Er… She doesn’t?”
“Evidently!” She places the half-glued plate on the counter and hisses when her fingers stick to the piece and she has to pry them apart. “She wears bras and teeny-tiny skirts and big fat signs on her back that say ‘insert here’.”
I wrinkle my nose. “That’s a little crass. Are you sure you saw that sign?”
“Of course there was no sign!” Charging away from the sink, Aubree crosses into the hall that I suspect leads to Tim’s bedroom. “I’m just a jealous shrew, lashing out at a woman who is probably really freakin’ nice. But I can’t be her friend!”
She crosses the threshold into Tim’s bedroom and flips on the lights to reveal his unmade bed, mountains of laundry piled on top, and in the pile…
“Why are there so many cats in here? Aubree?” I try to snag her attention when she rushes to the bed and begins folding clothes and putting them away in a drawer. But then my eyes move to the clumps and smears of… something on the walls. “Is thatcrap?”
“It’s chocolate cake.” She says it without even looking. “I would never use actual feces.”
“Youdid this?” I turn a circle and mind my foot placement when another cat bolts past. “Aubree! What the hell is going on?”
“He wouldn’t let me spend time with Colin!” She gives up on the clothes and moves into the adjoined bathroom to straighten the towels on the rack. “He could have just left me alone, but no! Heinsistedon deserting his post at the bar, and instead, he came to the booth where Colin and I were hanging out. So I asked him for Sex On The Beach.”
“You—” My spit stops in the middle of my throat and threatens to choke me. “You asked him for what?”
“The drink!” She uses a dirty towel strewn on the bathroom floor to clean the toothpaste mess on the mirror. I can’t say for sure, but I think it spelledyou’re an asshole!“He didn’t get it for me. So I asked for a Strawberry Shag.”
I choke out a laugh. “Shut up.”
“I couldn’t! I didn’t! I was mad, Minka. So I just kept on going. I asked for Death By Sex. Then Sweet Poison. Then Slippery Panties!”
“Oh my god.” My stomach hurts from laughing. “No doubt Tim didn’t make you a drink.”
“No! He didn’t. So I asked Colin instead.”
“Uh-oh,” I snigger. “How’d that go down?”
“Tim picked me up and carried me away from the table!” Angrily, she throws the toothpaste-y towel to the floor and shoves past me. “He carried me all the way up to this apartment and tossed me onto the couch. He gave me the remote for the television and told me not to move my ass again. Then he tried to leave.”
“Tried?” I back up against the wall, careful not to touch the feces-looking cake. “He wasn’t successful?”
“No! Because I called him a pussy and a coward and told him I was done waiting.”
“Y-you called a Malone a pussy?” I bring a hand up to cover my mouth.She’s going toe-to-toe with the mafia and doesn’t even realize it.“Uh… How’d that go?”
“Not well!” She throws her hands up in exasperation. “He called me an attention-seeking flower child who doesn’t know how to take no for an answer.”
“Uh…”
“So I followed him to the door, and when his back was turned, I pushed him.”
“Youpushedhim?” I gasp and step closer. “You shoved someone when their back was turned? Aubree!”
“I was angry,” she cries out. “But he didn’t even budge. He’s stronger than me, so he only grabbed my wrist and shoved me against the wall.”
Quivering jaw, wobbling lips, she stops in the hall and turns back to watch me with devastated eyes. “He pushed me against the wall, and then he kissed me. Here.” She presses her fingers to the middle of her brow. “He was so gentle, even when he was super angry. He was pissed, but he still kissed me.” She meets my eyes as a single tear spills over. “So I cried.”
“You cried? Like, a glistening tear on your cheek, or like—”
“Bigcried,” she groans. “Snot coming out of my nose kinda cried. Shouted at him about stupid things kinda cried. He said he was doing what was best for me by staying away, then he left. He just walked away and left me up here on my own.”