And I didn’t want that.
Nor did I want the secret to continue. It had to come out at some point. But now there was a timeline for everything coming out.
Eight months, give or take.
Most likely five, when it became impossible to hide what I was growing inside me. And it would be growing inside of me. I knew that my reaction to the very thought of another abortion had nothing to do with morning sickness.
I cradled my stomach as I stared at the buildings.
Declan’s birthday party was this weekend. I would not ruin that. But I would be going home carrying Elden’s baby. And I had to figure out a way to tell him that.
ChapterSixteen
I wasa wreck from the second I got on the plane, even worse as I walked through the gate to see my mother, brother and stepfather waiting for me. I had not been able to eat since … pretty much the moment I peed on the stick. My lost appetite must’ve been some kind of mental thing. I had no symptoms at all beyond the two lines on the pee stick last time.
Then again, I was growing one half of a brooding badass inside of me, which apparently took everything out of you.
Sariah was worried about me.
“I know that we still live in a society obsessed with image and skinniness, and the media throws diets and plastic surgery at us like footballs, but you are absolutely perfect the way you are,” she said as I’d been packing my bag.
“What are you talking about?” I asked, focusing on my clothes since I didn’t like looking her in the eye when I was hiding something from her.
“I’m talking about you barely eating anything all week, even though Ollie outdid herself on those blueberry muffins,” she scolded me. “And you don’t even have a hangover to blame it on.”
I concentrated very hard on my jeans, the ones I would only be fitting for the next few months.
“I’m stressed with classes,” I told her. Again, it was one of my patented non lies. I was indeed stressed with classes, but that wasn’t the reason for me not eating.
Sariah’s heels clicked against the hardwood floor as she walked in the direction of my dresser. The drawers opened and closed as I contemplated my jeans and whether or not I was going to throw up.
When a mess of lace landed on top of my jeans, I turned my gaze toward Sariah.
“I’m guessing that the not eating and generally acting off and mopey has to do with the trip back home for your baby brother’s birthday,” she pressed, going back to my dresser, finding more lingerie and depositing it in my suitcase.
We went shopping a lot. My father’s money was burning a hole in my proverbial pocket, and I did enjoy spending it on things that he would hate. Clothing that embodied my personal style of classic yet edgy, lingerie that erred on the side of harlot.
“I’m going home for my baby brother’s birthday party,” I reminded her. “Not going to the Playboy mansion.”
Sariah folded her arms. “From what I hear, the Sons of Templar clubhouse is so much better than the Playboy mansion.”
I pursed my lips but didn’t say anything.
“Now, I know that this is a weird time of year for you,” she began in that soft tone I hated. The tone reserved for girls with dead dads.
Sariah, up until this moment, hadn’t spoken to me using that tone.
“And I am assuming Elden will be at this birthday party,” she said softly. A different kind of tone this time. The kind reserved for girls with broken hearts.
“Now, I understand you’re being sensible and protecting him and the club or whatever the fuck,” she waved a hand in the air, tone sharper now. “But people only break their own hearts for noble reasons in fiction. So I’m not letting you do that.” Her gaze was tinged with concern as it grazed over me. “I’m not going to let you waste away. You’re my hot best friend, and you’re staying that way. Which is why you’re going to sneak away from your brother’s birthday and get yourself good and fucked by that biker you love.”
That teased a smile out of me, despite everything else.
“Ah, she’s in there!” Sariah announced triumphantly. “Now all I need is to shove a cheeseburger down your gullet.”
My stomach churned at the mention of a cheeseburger, but I forced my attention down at my suitcase. “Elden doesn’t like lingerie,” I told her.
Her mouth hung open. “Elden is a living, breathing, badass man. He likes lingerie. You are one hot bitch. You look great in lingerie.”