I had been a wreck since the second Elden had roared off on the bike.
Of course, I hid it from Sariah. She didn’t need that from me. She needed a friend who gave her the space to be a wreck. To break down. And she did. She cried. Cursed. Let out all of the feelings she’d be holding onto so tightly.
She agreed to see a therapist after I’d gently suggested it.
And when I’d told her about Elden and Colby’s appearance, and that they intended to make sure that he was never heard from again, her eyes had lit up with a bloodlust I hadn’t expected from her.
“If only I could do it myself,” she muttered. “I’ve bingedHow to Get Away with Murderbecause Queen Shonda wrote it, and because it’s a fucking great show, but I don’t think I’d be able to put it to practice,” she sighed. “And I don’t think I have the heart for it.”
I squeezed her hand. “You have the biggest heart I know,” I told her truthfully. “This does not define you.”
Her eyes welled as she looked at me. “I know,” she whispered back. “I have great tits and an even better personal style… That defines me.”
We both burst out laughing, and I came to understand that friends, real ones, found reasons to laugh in even the darkest of times.
The rest of the day was spent in sweatpants, watching Nora Ephron movies and eating copious amounts of snacks we didn’t normally keep in the house.
I hid my unease from her, even as the night crept on and Sariah fell asleep on the sofa.
There was no way I was going to be able to sleep, so I drank way too much coffee—even for me—and tried to work on my assignments. I failed at that, trying to write a paper on the art and architecture of the Roman Empire was not something to do after three cups of espresso while worrying about the man you had a thing for who was murdering the man who’d raped your best friend.
I settled for a particularly spicy fantasy trilogy, but even that felt wrong. So I just settled for staring atReal Housewivesyelling at each other, my phone right beside me and the volume turned way down low so I could hear the rumble of a motorcycle.
Except there were no motorcycles. There was a gentle tap at our front door, though. I jumped up so quickly, I sent my empty coffee cup flying. It made a clatter, yet fortunately, Sariah did not stir. She hadn’t when I’d been using an espresso machine at three in the morning either: She was deep in a sleep that she’d needed for weeks.
I smoothed my hair and did my best to wipe crumbs off my sweats, cursing myself for not changing, or at the very least washing my face. But it was too late.
The sun was teasing the horizon, and it served as the perfect backdrop for Elden standing at my front door.
He looked good.
Beyond good. I could only assume he’d also been up all night, although not a hint of that showed on his face. I did a quick scan of his body. There were no obvious wounds. No blood. No signs indicating that he was hurt.
My body sagged in relief. “I was worried about you,” I told him, meeting his eyes once more. They were glittering with something I couldn’t quite place.
“You don’t need to worry about me, Violet,” he murmured softly.
I stepped forward, desperate to be closer to him, to feel the heat of his body. He stiffened as I did so, but he didn’t move backward.
“I’ll always worry about you,” I whispered, grabbing onto the sides of his cut.
When Elden reached up to stroke my face, I closed my eyes, leaning into his hand.
We didn’t talk for a while. The birds greeting the morning took over the silence.
“I need to go,” Elden said finally.
I squeezed my eyes shut tighter. I had known this was coming. It wasn’t like he could come in and everything would change. Sariah was on the sofa having just gone through a harrowing ordeal. That did not stop me from from wanting to pounce on him. But me having sex with the man I was falling for was not really appropriate.
When I was brave enough to open my eyes, he was staring at me. He likely had been the entire time.
There was nothing else to say now. We both knew this wasn’t the right time for us. Maybe there was no right time for us.
His hand fell back to his side. I missed the weight of it right away.
“Have a safe flight,” I said weakly.
Elden didn’t speak for a long time. “You’re strong, Violet,” he finally said. “But you don’t have to be. You’re not alone.” His eyes burned with intensity. “I’ll always be here for you.”