My heart clenched again.
“I’m sorry,” I apologized again.
“We’re gonna be there in a month,” Swiss informed me. “To the hour. Prepare yourself, kid.”
“Don’t you dare do too much decorating before I get there,” my mother ordered. “And how are you going to put that bed frame and dresser together? They arrive in a couple of days. I’ll research those Task Bunny people, but how do we know they’re not serial killers or sex predators?” she fretted.
I did smile now. “Mom, I can put a bed and a dresser together.”
“I love the confidence you have in yourself, sweetie, and I do believe you can do anything you put your mind to, except putting together flat pack furniture,” my mother argued.
“Your faith in me is astounding,” I replied dryly.
“She can do it, baby,” Swiss said confidently.
My heart warmed. My father had never had that kind of confidence in me.
“And don’t you dare invite any man into your home that you don’t know,” Swiss addressed me once more. “You have any trouble, I’ll make some calls, get some of the Rhode Island chapter to come and do the heavy lifting.”
I hadn’t been aware that there was a Rhode Island chapter of the club. Then again, it was a national club, so it made sense. “Swiss, I cannot have a bunch of hot, muscled bikers doing the heavy lifting for me,” I scoffed. “That totally goes against everything I stand for. I’m a capable female.”
“Of course you are,” he agreed immediately.
My mind moved quickly, weighing up the pros and cons of his suggestion. Something wicked inside of me formed a plan. “Actually… I do have a lot of furniture, and there a lot of stairs. If you could call them, that would be great.”
“Good to see your principals are unwavering ,” Swiss teased.
I smiled wide. “Hey, a girl also has to recognize that fighting the patriarchyismaking them do all the heavy lifting.”
“Amen, sista,” he replied.
Some of the ice around my heart began to melt.
“Okay, honey, I’m not happy about this, but I’ll agree to it,” Mom jumped in. “But you have to text me photos of every room in the house, and don’t leave your drinks unattended, don’t walk home alone, and I read about this app you can install on your phone—”
“She’ll be fine, baby,” Swiss interrupted for me, his voice warm.
I settled on the floor. My mom would be fine too. More than fine. And that warmth in Swiss’s tone only reinforced that I’d made the right decision in keeping my mom in the dark. She’d protected me all my life in order for me to stay happy and clueless. It was time for me to do the same.
“I promise I will stay in constant contact,” I began to choke up.
“You will, or I won’t need a scary biker to do any of the menacing stuff. I’m pretty good at it too.” Mom’s ,voice was thick with tears.
“I love you, Mom,” I whispered.
“To the stars, sweet girl.”
I paused, biting my lip. “You too, Swiss,” I added quietly.
It was true. It had been a whirlwind getting to Garnett and learning how completely my life had changed, but it had also been impossible not to love the man who treated my mother like she was the most precious thing on this earth. Who asked for my permission before marrying her. Who bought her a home. Who gave her room to be herself. Who gave her a true family. And he made me feel all the things my biological father never had.
He made me feel respected. Heard. Protected. Like an adult with my own unique ideas.
A hole opened up inside of me. One that had maybe been there all along, but I’d just ignored because I wasn’t brave enough to face the reality of what my father had been. What I was losing.
“Love you, kiddo,” he replied, his strong voice not quite as solid as it had been moments ago.
Once I hung up, I sat on the floor of the hotel bathroom for a long while.