“You’re not going to let anything happen to you either,” he replied. “And I promise, Violet, if there is a chance, even a small fucking chance I could lose either of you, I will drag you to the hospital kicking and screaming. I will live with you bein’ mad at me for the rest of time because you’ll be alive to be mad. That’s fine with me.”
I nodded. Despite what my stepfather said, I wasn’t insane. I would not put our daughter or myself in any undue danger.
But I was also determined. This baby could not come into a world that didn’t include Sariah.
It just couldn’t.
I had been relocated to Elden’s room, which I was thankful for since the lovely doctor arrived and had indeed had her head all up in my vagina, and I didn’t think the club at large needed to see that.
Elden was positioned with his back against the headboard, and I was leaning mostly on his body. He was holding my hand, not complaining no matter how hard I squeezed it and generally looking like he was on the edge of freaking out.
My ever calm, ever controlled, port in the storm was close to freaking out. Then again, he wasn’t in control of the situation. He was not a medical professional, and I’d refused to let him take me to the hospital. He could sit here and let me squeeze my hand… Essentially, he was helpless. Elden was not good at being helpless.
My mom was sitting in a chair next to me, wiping a cold towel on my face every now and then, giving me water and looking much calmer than all the males in the vicinity. I’d banned all the other men who weren’t out following leads, so it was just Swiss pacing at the door, murmuring into his phone.
“I’m sorry,” I said to Elden.
“What the fuck are you sorry for.”
“For making you worry and not making this easy.” I gestured to the room.
Elden’s let out what sounded like a snort. “Newsflash, baby, never thought you bringing a baby into this world would be easy. Fuck, it kills me that it’s hurtin’ you so much.”
“It’s not that bad,” I lied.
Elden stroked my forehead. “You’re fuckin’ amazin’,” he murmured. “But we’re going to the hospital in five minutes.”
I pinched my lips closed to hold back the curse words dangling off the tip of my tongue. I wanted to argue with him, but I knew I couldn’t. My contractions were close together now, the pressure getting more and more intense. Something instinctual inside of me told me it was almost time. Whether or not I wanted to, a baby was coming into the world.
As I was thinking that, Swiss entered the room, his face grim.
My entire body tensed, and I squeezed Elden’s hand tighter, bracing for his words.
“We have her,” Swiss said, phone at his ear, looking at me.
I sagged against Elden. “And she’s okay?”
He hummed in confirmation.
“Okay,” I whispered, needing more information but unable to demand it at the moment. There were other pressing matters. “Nowwe can go to the hospital.”
At that moment, a contraction hurtled through my body, and I panted through the pain, proud that I didn’t scream at the top of my lungs.
“I don’t think we’ll make it to the hospital,” Sarah informed us, replacing the sheet that was covering my modesty.
“What?” Elden gasped from behind me.
“I can make it,” I protested, my voice pinched with pain. “I’ll just … hold her in.”
Sarah smiled with warmth, placing her hand on my thigh. “Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. She’s already crowning. I promise, you’ve done most of the hard work already. You can do this.”
The room suddenly seemed much smaller, and my lungs were unable to produce air. “I can’t have the baby here,” I moaned. I looked up to Elden desperately. “I know I talked about doing a home birth, but that was under different circumstances. There was calming music playing, essential oils. I’d researched a tub you could get. And even then, I’d secretly known I wanted to go to the hospital,” I babbled, impressed I was able to string all of those sentences together while I was in complete agony.
Elden, to his credit, did not look like he was barely holding it together anymore. He looked much more like my fully capable, utterly badass husband who could and would save me from anything.
“You can do this here and now.” He squeezed my hand. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.” He kissed my nose. “We’re going to meet our daughter, baby.”
I smiled at him, the thought of it cutting through the worst of the pain. For just a moment, at least.