To keep my angry episodes at bay, I spent a lot of time alone in the woods. I’d, compulsively, call Cammie without leaving a message. Then I’d drink and think about us. The good times and the bad ones. I’d never chased a girl before, never felt so…weak for a girl before, but Cameron Delaney wasn’t any girl. She was the love of my life, the girl I wanted to spend my life with. A woman to die for.
Sometimes I wondered if our time together was limited from the start. Like no matter what I did, sooner or later she was going to leave. Like I was never going to be good enough, and she was better off without me.
Then I shook it off, knowing that was Mama’s voice in my head. The effect of Rosewood on me. If those couple of days—staying here knowing I didn’t have Cammie to go back to—made me realize anything, it was that I hated it here.
I was the one who could never fit here, Mama, not Cammie.
When I was forced by the Lanzas to take my position at the top of the Skulls, I always knew I’d find a way to leave one day. It was my time here that was limited, not my time with the one person that really made me feel like myself.
But all this time I wasn’t worthy of her.
To get Cameron back, I had to prove myself to her, show her I wasn’t full of shit when I said I’d change. I had to start over and build a new life on my own. It was the only way to redeem myself and regain her trust.
For that I would leave the Night Skulls once and for all and never look back. Show her I’d changed for good.
For myself.
For her.
For us.
I called Rush, determined to follow with my original plan, letting him subtly run things for a while to see if he was the right man for it before I went to Cosimo and made sure he understood I was leaving with no intention of running my own club or any club whatsoever. I’d called him that night I left Cammie and went to tell Rush about leaving and explained. He wasn’t pleased, but he didn’t object. He asked for a meet to sort things out.
I was ready to give him all the collateral he’d demand so I could go and be with Cammie. I had a feeling he wouldn’t ask for a lot. Cosimo Lanza had been different since he married for love and his wife gave him a son. He’d understand, or I’d find a way, easy or hard, to make him understand.
Then I’d officially hand the whole business over to Rush. After all, he was the best candidate in the club for this position from the start. All brothers were on board when it came to VP.
He didn’t answer, though. That was weird. Yes, he was busy following my orders. It didn’t mean I wouldn’t see or hear of him all weekend.
Something wasn’t right.
CHAPTER 8
Cameron
I summoned every ounce of courage left in me, backed up with Ashley’s pep talk, and left the apartment to go to class.
The morning sun settled too bright on my puffy eyes as I put on my helmet, Hangovers and mornings didn’t get along. Crying all night didn’t help either.
Ash put on the extra helmet while I jammed dark shades on my face and straddled the bike. I could only wear one glove today. The glove on the right hand didn’t fit after last night’s little accident. The handlebar didn’t feel rough on the gauze anyway.
Taking a deep breath, I tried to stop the racing thoughts in my mind, and most importantly, not to think about Dusty. But with riding the bike he gave me—riding or seeing any bike for that matter—it was impossible.
My best friend held on to my shoulders, and as if she felt my tension, she said, “Don’t think too much. Just drive.”
I nodded, filling my lungs with air, and started the ignition. The fresh air and the rush helped calm me a little. We reached campus on time, and I parked the Harley at its regular spot. Without taking off my shades, I walked with Ash to class, grateful she wasn’t embarrassed to be associated with me.
I shoved my hands in the pockets of my jeans, my eyes darting around, bracing for the worst, but to my surprise, we reached our building in peace. Apart from the few eye daggers that fell on us as we climbed the stairs, nothing happened.
“See? Not as bad as you thought,” Ash said.
“Yeah. Don’t know what I expected. Guess I have an inflated ego or something to think people would be occupied by what happened on my account.”
She laughed and pushed the class door open. A small smile tugged at my lips, but as the buzz inside the classroom faded when we entered, so did my smile.
I walked quickly to an empty row in the back, Ash on my tail. The few eyes daggers earlier were nothing compared to the ones everybody was giving me here. And that wasn’t even a class I shared with Samuel.
Humming whispers and swears flew around. “The fuck? How can she still be here? They should expel her.”