Shit.
Marcus disappears into the bedroom, and I hear the water turn on a second later. I'm rooted to the cushion, unsure of what to do. I feel cold, inside and out, the warmth from moments ago like it never existed. We have so much to work through, even if he no longer blames me for…Ken. I have my own baggage—baggage that has resurfaced and steadily grown.
I slide my feet off the couch and plant my soles on the hardwood floor. He probably assumes I'll leave. I reach for my discarded top and pull it over my head. My eyes travel to the front door and then to the bedroom. Marcus Baxter is thirty-seven. I'll be twenty-six in a little over a week. We're too old to play games. I don't want to play anymore.
With my feet grounded, I lean back into the couch and cross my arms over my chest, ready for whatever will happen next. But if I have any say in it, Marcus and I will battle it together. Conviction replaces uncertainty. Peering at the clock on the wall, only an hour has passed since waking up to Collin's message, and yet, it feels like, once again,everythinghas changed.
The water shuts off.
Goose bumps erupt on my arms and legs, and I scan the room. A throw blanket is draped over one end of the couch. I reach over and pull it over my lap. Who knows how long—
"You're still here." I lift my gaze from adjusting the throw to Marcus standing in the doorway, a dark-blue towel wrapped around his trim waist.
"I am." I fold my hands in my lap.
"Why?" He appears genuinely confused, but not in an annoyed, angry way.
I pull the blanket aside and stand. Marcus follows the movement as I slowly walk over, giving him the chance to kick me out. His head slants, and he scans me from head to toe, lingering on my bare legs.
I stop right in front of him, our toes nearly touching, and place a hand on his still glistening chest. His earlier stench is replaced by an equally delicious scent. I have no idea what shower gel he uses, but the fresh smell of aclean Marcushas my mouth watering.
He looks down.
My thumb caresses his pec, and I glance up at him. "I don't want to play games."
His eyes narrow, waiting for me to elaborate.
"You are the first person I don't have to hide from. I don't understand why you're different. Maybe because you already hate me."
"I thought we established that I no longer…blame you." His gruffness causes lightness to settle in my chest.
"Hated me," I correct. "But you…you challenged me in a way no other ever has. It became an addiction." I can't stop the chuckle at my words. "To see your reactions when I pushed back. Then you…helped me."
"You mean I fucked you in your best friend's laundry room?" He smirks devilishly, and a flush flourishes up my face.
I smile. "That, too. And I appreciated that more than you might think—for various reasons."
Marcus barks out a laugh and lifts his palms to frame my face. His hardened features melt, and I see the man that he hides from everyone—except me.
"What I'm trying to say…" I bite the inside of my cheek, grasping for the right words. "I…shit." I blow out a breath. "I don't want this to end."
I don't think I've ever been this inarticulate.
His gaze jumps between my eyes as he slowly lowers his face. He gently touches his lips to my mouth, just the slightest of caresses before he withdraws again. My lids are hooded, and I can barely make out his form in front of me.
"Then let's not play games," he says softly.
It's my turn to frown. That could be interpreted either way.
"Stop overthinking, baby." He kisses me one more time. "If I can handle it, you definitely can accept that this is happening."
My body buzzes from the inside out. This is really happening. But that also means I eventually will have to come clean with the one secret I've been keeping to myself.
Can I do that?
I sitin the passenger seat of…
"What car is this again?" I shout over the roar of the engine mixed with "Steal my Romance" by Ghosts on the Radio. My nails dig into the dark-gray leather as Jenn takes another turn toward La Déesse. Maybe I should've taken off work after all. I have my doubts that we will arrive there alive.