What indeed? It’s not like any of this is my fault. But I can’t shake the feeling of being the cause of so many people’s cruel fates: Rhys, Heather, Tristen, the girls that got kidnapped because Idisappeared.
"I feel like all I’ve done is cause trouble."
He frowns. "Don’t be ridiculous, Cal. None of this is your fault. If anyone is at fault, it’s the psycho who took you." Once again, he knows exactly what I’m thinking. Then, the crinkles between his eyebrows disappear, and he looks almost sad. "I’m sorry, too."
I stare at him with an expression that must look to him like a big question mark, because he continues, "For treating you like shit the last few years, and also for how I sprung everything on you. I was a selfish asshole and just wanted the secrets to be over."
I let that sink in for a moment and realize something fundamental. "I understand."I do."I mean, why you did it. I’m not mad anymore. I don’t know what I would have done. If I could have been as strong as you..." I trail off.
Rhys’s mouth tilts upward, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. "I wasfarfrom strong. I’ve done a lot of things I am not proud of to forget you and distract myself. Though, nothing has worked; all I could do was try to stay as far away as possible but still be able to watch out for you. When you told me about your migraines, I just couldn’t stand by anymore. It was my chance at coming clean...with everything." He pauses before adding, "Like I said...selfish."
I’m swept up by a flash flood of emotions. Confusion about what Rhys has done that he’s not proud of. Sadness and guilt that he had to go through all this because of me. Happiness for having him back in my life and not being alone on this journey. With this short exchange, the last bit of the wall that separated us is gone. I thought I would be terrified when it happened. I didn’t want him having the power to hurt me again, but instead, I’m...calm. There is no fear, just contentment about having my friend back.
When I blinkmy eyes open, I am blinded by the glare from an SUV’s windshield parked across from us.
When did I fall asleep?
We’re at a gas station, and my neck is stiff from being slumped sideways for who knows how long. The sun is high in the sky, and I glance at my watch; it’s almost two in the afternoon. Holy cow, I slept for hours. That clearly explains the sharp pain when I first moved my head.
The driver side door opens, and Rhys climbs in, putting two cellophane-wrapped sandwiches, a bag of chips, and two apples in the middle.
He hands me a water. "One turkey, and one ham and cheese. And I called home. I told Dad we made it, and you’re checking out the slopes with Den.You’reto call them tomorrow." Rhys apologizes as if it’s his fault.
I nod, thankful to him for making the call, but not looking forward to tomorrow’s conversation. Maybe I’ll call Heather’s cell instead of the house phone; that way, it’s less likely that I’ll get Tristen. I’m convinced he’d immediately call me out on not being where I say I am. When he showed up at the foot of the stairs this morning, I was close to confessing everything myself.
"Why don’t I drive for a bit? You can use the rest."
And I won’t be able to think.
Rhys sighs gratefully.
I’m physically exhausted,but when I can’t fall asleep, I start messing around with my phone. After a few miles, Lilly suggests, "Let’s play a game!"
"A game?" She sounds a little too cheery, and I scowl suspiciously.
"Yeah! Let’s play twenty questions!"
My scowl deepens. What are we? Twelve?
Lilly glances over excitedly. "We have over two years to make up for, and it’s not fair that you were secretly part of my life, but I missed everything that happened in yours."
She genuinely wants to get to know me again. She’s not taking a stab at me to make me feel guilty. This could be fun.Or fucking disastrous.
"This should be...interesting. Let’s do it." I attempt to sound as cheery as she is. Her entire face lights up, and all trepidation about the potential consequences of playing this game evaporates. Seeing her happy is so worth it.
"Okay, let’s start easy. Favorite movie in the last two years?" She all but bounces in the seat.
Maybe thisisgoing to be enjoyable. "That’s easy.Captain America: Civil War. Yours?"
She chuckles, eyes never leaving the road. "Ha, I probably could’ve guessed that one. Let me think...It’s a close tie betweenResident Evil: The Final ChapterandUnderworld: Blood Wars."
I make a mock shocked face. "You’re overBlade: Trinity?"
She had forced me to watch that movie so many times, because she had a girl-crush on Abigail Whistler, that it became a running joke. I could recite half the movie at one point. My favorite quotes were obviously from Hannibal King; he’s freaking awesome. "I just have two things to say to you. One, your hairdo is ridiculous. And two, I ate a bunch of garlic and I just farted. Silent but deadly."
Did I mention that Hannibal is hi-lar-i-ous?
Lilly pulls me out of the memory when her eyes flick to me briefly and she looks appalled. "Never. I would never cheat on Whistler, but we’re talking the lasttwoyears here."