Is she going to be this obstinate on everything? I realize she's angry, but she's going to have to get over it because her safety is paramount to me. That's non-negotiable. If she must hate me for keeping her safe, then so be it.
Still, I can't help feel a bitter sting at the knowledge that she obviously loathes everything about me now.
At least whenever I was just a voice to her speaking to her over the phone as her employer, she would sit behind her desk and blush prettily and maybe even daydream about me.
Of course, I'm probably flattering myself. For all I know, she daydreams about blond-headed fucks like my brother.
The thought has me rising from my seat and walking to the other side of the room far away from her, so I don't do something rash.
Once again, I'm losing control. I feel my arms and hands vibrating with the powerful need to pull her against me, kiss her and claim her once and for all as mine, so no one like my brother can ever get near her again.
I take in a deep breath and then turn back around to see her watching me skeptically.
My heart pangs when I see the apprehension in her eyes.
So pretty, so fragile, so delicate.
I could never force her. I could never condemn her to a face such as mine. No matter how much I might want to take her for my mate.
Oh, and shecouldbe my mate. My recently acquired knowledge affirmed that.
I don't know why I was looking into it. I know it can never be. Yet I wanted to be apprised of each scenario for just in case—and it’s a damn good thing I had the foresight to look into it.
Apparently, vampires can take a human mateifthe human is a virgin, but the only caveat is that when you take the virgin’s virginity, you must bite their neck right then.
If you don’t, they’ll die.
When a vampire takes a virgin’s innocence, they activate the first half of the transformation process, so it’s either change them or watch them die.
And that's going to make having Elena so close to me even harder because not only do I want her more than I’ve ever wanted anything, but I can't even have sex with her—even if she wanted it—without biting her and changing her forever.
Were she not a virgin, I could, in theory, have sex with her and even feed from her without changing her. However, because she's a virgin, one bite or penetration from me will trigger the change in her.
I don't know what powers of the universe govern these things, but if that's not the most fucked-up thing I've ever heard. Knowing that virgins smell sweeter, knowing that we vampires crave their beauty and light and innocence more than any other, some divine powers of the universe would put such rules into play.
They're like the forbidden fruit in the garden of Eden. We desire them above all others, but if we touch them, we will doom them. Virgins have their own special light shining like an aura around them, and Elena’s is only amplified times a million because of the special uniqueness of everything that isher.
“You're going to have to stop looking at me like that,” she says softly.
“Like what?” My voice comes out rough as I drink in her face hungrily.
“Like you want to devour me,” she whispers as she presses back into her chair.
Fuck, my sweet little angel is more perceptive than I realized.
“I told you I would never harm you,” I remind her, “and I was always a man of my word.”
“Yes,” she says softly, “but are you a vampire of your word?”
I pause.Touche, little one. She's effectively reminded me that I'm indeed not a man, once again, pointing out the stark differences in our realities.
Suddenly, the weariness of all of my centuries settles heavily upon my shoulders. I swallow, wishing—not for the first time—that things could be different.
“Come. I’ll take you to your room.”
Her immediate obeisance causes something to stir within me. She doesn't say a word as I walk her to her bedroom. Well, it'smybedroom that I placed her in, but it's where she'll be sleeping. I wouldn’t have her anywhere else than in my master suite.
We walk side by side, so close that I can feel the heat of her body, yet we’re not touching. I've studiously not touched her since Dorian morphed us here. Every time I touch her or hold her in my arms, there's an intense buzzing throughout my entire frame. It's intoxicating. It's heady. It's like the most intense rush of dopamine I've ever felt. It makes me feel like I'm going to lose my mind.