“I don’t think I could fathom losing someone I care about more than once, Dante,” I whispered because I needed him to know he meant something, that this meant something, and that I was scared to have it mean more than it already did.
He sighed. Then he placed the warm towel on my thighs and slid it up to my core. I shivered at the feeling of being treasured enough that he would clean me up. He always had treasured me, but it wasn’t something I’d ever expected from him.
I kept my stare on him and saw something change in his eyes as he looked at me. “What?”
“You’re broken because of something I can’t fix, Lamb.”
I sighed. “I’m fixing it myself. I’m the only one who can. It might take some therapy and a lot more than a list, but it’s a start, right?”
He nodded, his forehead falling to mine as he threw the now dirtied towel into a basket. “Maybe I'm just as broken with my need for you.”
I stared into his eyes and tried my best not to look desperate. “My body aches for you constantly, Dante.”
“Yet, we’re not compatible.” He glanced over at his wound. “Both of us know we’re not compatible. Damn, I mean, my life isn’t the one you want. I can tell you that right now.”
“Is it the one you want, though?”
“It’s the one I have.” His jaw worked up and down. “I killed a man tonight.”
I gasped at his confession, and he nodded as he let it settle around us.
“I’d do it again if I had to. You know me as your protector. But I’m also the one who can cause your destruction.”
“I don’t believe that.” I shook my head, but he was shutting down inside. He was pulling away. And suddenly I was scared to lose him, to lose anything we had between us.
He put his lips to mine with gentle nips and a soft touch. He was tucking back the Armanelli in him and giving me the Dante I’d always known.
“You need to go to bed,” he grumbled.
I didn’t fight him on it.
I went willingly, trying to sift through all my emotions, trying to make sense of us.
On my way out, he murmured, “Lilah, I’ll still cross that list off with you. If you have any time off in the next couple days, I’ll take you through Old San Juan. You’ll find everything you love there.”
Dante Armanelli, what a man he was, giving me everything I wanted but nothing I needed.
18
Explore Her
Dante
Ikissed her slowly that night because I wanted to relish my heart beating fast. Had she felt it too? Our hearts galloped toward something they wanted so badly, they’d pump blood through us faster with need. She was the only one who could cause that unsettling feeling in me. Delilah had essentially found a way to release everything I thought I’d locked down.
I was ready to give that girl anything she wanted, even if it meant I’d suffer through the whole damn thing.
“You know we got at least a thousand kilos about to be shipped back to Florida, right?” Cade sounded giddy as he lifted the barbell up, his tattooed hands gripping the metal tight.
I nodded as I stood over him in case he needed a spot. Cade had come to use the hotel gym for the morning, before I took Delilah sightseeing. She had the day off already and so we were going. “I’m not working today. I got stabbed last night.”
“So what? Remember when you got shot in Syria? You went home two days later.”
I had, but that was only because it had been Christmas and I’d thought I might catch a glimpse of Delilah. She hadn’t come home that Christmas, though. Or the Christmas after.
Now, I had her here, wanting to cause havoc everywhere.
“I’m going to Old San Juan to keep an eye on her.”