Then Rome ate up the space between us, fast as a streak of lightning in the dark, and his hand caught my arm. He swooped down to pick up my bag and yanked me along with him toward the exit.
“Maksim’s outside.” I stumbled along. “We can’t go anywhere together and I don’t need you two fighting.”
“Then, tell him to fuck off when we see him.” He continued toward the door.
I ripped my arm from his grip. I wasn’t stupid enough to think I could get free of him without him letting go. “Rome, this isn’t the plan.”
“I’ve never had a plan with you. You’ve blown up every organized structure since the day I met you.” He glared at me like I was the enemy.
In a way, to him, I was.
“So, what? You want me to follow you out of here and what? Announce we have some fucked up relationship we need to figure out?” I folded my arms across my chest, because if I didn’t, I might just reach out to him.
His face was filled with anger, but also hurt. I knew he wanted me in the same way I wanted him. We couldn’t ignore the fact that we’d grown up around one another, that we knew each other better than most. And my heart ached at realizing I’d probably never find another that could connect with me like he could.
I had too many issues for someone normal to deal with. Rome smoothed over the jagged pieces of me and I sanded down the rough edges of him. His monster calmed my beast. Walking away from that wasn’t easy.
“I need something, Katalina. Don’t give me nothing.”
“It’s not healthy,” I whispered, all of my nonchalant act gone. I was holding on to my heart here while it gravitated toward him. I was gripping my body as it fought me to go to him. I didn’t have much strength left.
“If not your address, and if not you coming with me, give me your number.”
I took a deep breath as I considered his compromise. I scrunched my eyes shut, knowing I was doing the wrong thing, that I would be complicating everything, but I stuck out my hand anyway. He dropped his phone into it and I tapped in my number.
No bonds, no ties to your addiction, was how you overcame it.
Yet Rome was too strong of a drug.
I didn’t know if he’d end up being fatal to me or helping me through the world.
I just knew I couldn’t live without him.
I threw the phone back at him like it was a grenade, ready to explode in my hands.
His gaze licked up and down my body one last time before he took a step backward. “Answer when I contact you, Katalina.”
“And if I don’t?” I sucked in a breath as he strode up to me.
He wrapped his arm around my waist to pull me close and whisper in my ear. “I’ll find you. And you don’t want the monster to come looking.”
11
Katie
Of course I didn’t answer his call.
It was a restricted line, so technically, it could have been anybody.
But, I knew.
My whole body tightened as I stared at my phone ringing in my hand. I considered how it would be if I did answer. Would we talk about the weather? What the forecast looked like for the next week?
We couldn’t make small talk or chit chat. We had nothing to discuss. We never had. Our lives were heavy and dark, filled with things you didn’t talk about over a phone call.
What would I say to a man I wanted but couldn’t have? I didn’t idly talk with anyone on the phone. For me to answer, for me to even consider answering, was ludicrous.
I threw the phone on the bed and went to go shower. As I let the steam engulf me, I stared at the tiling on the walls. The mosaic designs in cream colors fogged up with the heat over time. I stood in there so long thinking of the call I couldn’t take that the fog turned to droplets. I slid to the ground and considered how long Rome would try, if he’d ever give up on me.