When I reached for my door, he shoved my hand out of the way and yanked it open himself. He grabbed my elbow before he let me get in. “Don’t try to take control of the situation tonight.”
“You can’t take control of the mob,” I retorted. “They infest the bones of a city, spread like a cancer, and never die. We’re uncontrollable.”
“You know what I mean,” Rome said into my hair, his eyes closed like his frustration would be gone if he could just not see me.
“I know you want me to do something I’m not capable of doing.” I ripped my arm out of his grip and slammed the door hard in his face.
Everyone wanted to tell me what to do, who to be, how to bait, how to do my job. I’d done it for them for years. I’d showed I was more than capable, and still I was told over and over again what to do.
Would it have been that way if I’d been raised with my mother?
Rome started the truck, and I gripped his muscular arm as a new thought shot through me. “I need to go home first.”
“Home?” Rome asked, an eyebrow raised.
I ground my teeth. I didn’t want to tell him his place was starting to feel like mine, that I enjoyed being cooped up with him, especially when I got a foot massage while I read him Edgar Allan Poe on the couch.
“Your home, Rome.” I rolled my eyes. “And give me your phone. I’m calling all the men over.”
“We should talk about it first.”
“Like you talked about how Georgie knew my dad?”
When he sighed in defeat, I grabbed his phone and shot out a group text to Dante, Cade, and Bastian that we were headed home, to be there in twenty. No excuses.
My heart pounded fast and loud, like it finally had something to beat for. The only other thing that stirred it like this was Rome, and when I looked at him now, I wanted to scream.
They’d all hid more than enough from me over the years. Mario had let me sit in on some meetings but never all the important ones.
I’d been a tool, not a member.
I’d been just a woman to them, and I was suddenly very aware that I didn’t want to be that anymore.
Fitting in with them wasn’t my future. They hadn’t allowed it, and now I saw how stupid my dream to be one of them had always been.
Rome parked the car under his apartment, and we took the elevator up to his floor. “What do you need from me, Katalina? You want me to back you when we walk in there?”
“Do what you’ve always done.” My voice came out foreign to me, cool and distant. “Be a part of the family.”
He grabbed my arm to stop me from walking to his door. “I’ve never been a part of the family. I’m their killer. I’m the cousin, not the brother. I have a purpose like everyone else. Without that purpose, you die.”
“What’smi famiglia, then, huh?” Shoving at his chest, I glared at him, tears springing to my eyes. “Where do we belong without it? One foot in with the family means we got no feet in. We either are or aren’t.”
“We belong with the people we end up loving. You make your own family. You fit in there.”
“Well, it’ll be interesting to find out if my own family, the ones that made me, let me belong there, then.”
I shoved him back, but he didn’t let me go. His hand on my arm didn’t budge, and my adrenaline spiked so fast, my hand flew to the blade under my arm and held it to his throat. He’d seen the knife coming and already tilted his head. He probably could have pulled it from my grasp before it made it to his neck.
I lifted a brow and whispered, “You’re coddling me? Letting me put a knife to your neck? You think that’s going to make me think twice about my actions tonight?”
“I’m giving you a right to express your emotions. You deserve that.”
I shoved the edge into him, and he winced as blood dripped from the cut. His tattoo would be cut because of me, scarred by my anger. “I have a right whether you or anyone else gives me one, Rome.” I shoved away and took my knife with me.
When I turned the doorknob to his place, it gave way. Bastian and the boys were there already.
Walking in, I knew I looked a mess. Cade’s mouth dropped along with his phone, and Dante swore, immediately getting up to come to my side. He slid the knife from my hands and wrapped me in his arms.