“Why do you say that?”
“I killed my father. Not everyday someone gets to say that. I’m the monster, Katalina. It’s what I always was. And you’re Cleo. What we have will always be explosive, it always was.”
“I wasn’t always Cleo, and you weren’t always this way. We were all kids once.”
He shook his head. “My father didn’t have time for a kid. I grew up the moment I was in his care.”
“I’m sorry,” I said because I at least got the love from my dad and wouldn’t have traded it for anything else in the world.
“No reason to be. He raised me to compartmentalize and be perfect for the job I do now for the family. I learned his mean streak was predictable, and I trusted that in him. Until I couldn’t. Then, with his betrayal, he taught me to trust no one.”
“Is that why you’ve been circling me for years instead of giving in to us?”
He shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe I’m scared of what the monster will do to you. . . or what the monster in me will doforyou.”
“The monster in yousavedme,” I murmured, remembering the day he showed up at Marvin’s, how my heart swelled, how I tried my best not to care, and how I cried silently that night when he told me he couldn’t take me in.
“I’m starting to think my monster loves you.” I held my breath at his words. “And I’m scared at some point I won’t be able to control it.”
“Then I guess our end will definitely be catastrophic.” The words were ominous, but I smiled at him because I’d lay down destruction at this point to be with him.
“Best way to go out.” He winked at me and then dove for my mouth. I giggled and let him have me.
Those were the days I would long for later on.
Rome got more lenient with my stay hour after hour, and I came out of his panic room the next day. We cooked together—terribly, but still together. We laughed together, moved and lived in harmony together.
Hope and happiness blossomed in me when I ignored the glaring issues we were facing. I kept myself cut off from the world. I didn’t ask for a phone, didn’t attempt to turn on the TV or contact my friends through the internet.
I was isolated with the man I knew I loved for those few days in an ignorant, stupid bliss. I shouldn’t have been so blind, and I shouldn’t have turned the other way.
I regretted those days and longed for them all the same.
30
Katie
“You’re kidding me, right?”
“What do you mean?” I tightened my ponytail. Earlier today, I’d gotten so bored, I’d disguised myself well enough that I could go to a little shop around the corner. Rome hadn’t exactly said I could leave his place, but he had said he was finally taking me out tonight.
That called for celebration. The closest store was eccentric, and I was all about it. They had knockoff clothes and secondhand items, but it was someplace to go where I knew I wouldn’t be seen.
“We’re not going anywhere with you dressed like that.” He pointed at me accusingly, as if my outfit was completely ridiculous.
I had to admit, it was different. The latex fit every nook and cranny of my body like a glove. I was actually surprised it wasn’t custom made for me. To say I was proud of the rare find was an understatement. “This is perfectly legit for whatever we have to do tonight. I’m wearing combat boots and a dark outfit. It’s the best way to hide in the shadows.”
“You’re wearing a fucking dominatrix outfit. If you’re trying to bait me, you’re failing. You’re so far from getting your way, you don’t even know.”
I scoffed at his words, even though my stomach clenched at the slight stabbing pain of knowing I hadn’t turned him on.
I popped a hip out and looked at him in the mirror. “My outfit works. Either like it or don’t, but this is how I’m dressing.”
“Why are you so difficult?” He pinched the bridge of his nose as I got on my coat.
“My coat covers most of my outfit anyway. Jesus. Can I have a little fun? I’ve been cooped up in here for two fucking weeks doing nothing.”
“You were doing the same damn thing at Bastian’s.”