“Blah, blah, blah. I know,” I grumbled as I got up. I wondered if he truly believed that, if he’d struggled over and over again in his life and finally found the place where he was strongest.
Dante stumbled into the family with his expertise, but he’d been an outsider for so long before then, I didn’t know if he’d ever quite be comfortable fitting in with Bastian, Cade, Rome, and the others. The man was strikingly beautiful and also completely different from the other Italians. His roots were a mixture like mine, his eyes that emerald that shone bright like a panther’s. He’d never fit in with the others with his appearance, but he didn’t try to, either. I envied that about him, wondered how I could forget that I’d been left out too.
“Come at me again,” I said, beckoning. “This time, go easy. I’m working with a banged-up head already.”
Dante never went easy on anyone, but he worked me hard for the next hour, and I was thankful that I had to concentrate on only that in order to not get my ass beat.
“Give me a minute,” I panted from the ground again. I’d never once had him on his back throughout the workout. “Then come at me again.”
“Jesus Christ. We’re done for the day, woman. Your forearms are bruising.” I’d used them to block and break holds for the past hour, and they were sore enough to be damaged.
“So what?” I retorted as I scrambled up.
“You’re wired from last night. Your body’s tired, though. You need rest.”
“I don’t want rest,” I said, hands on hips.
“Fine. Go shower and get your spare clothes on. I’ll take you to work or something. I’m not sparring with you anymore today.”
I blew a raspberry and stomped to the locker rooms. My legs screamed for me to sit down, but I didn’t. My arms burned like they wouldn’t be able to wash my hair, but I did.
By the time we left, I knew Dante had been right. I was fighting away the reality of the situation, and I didn’t want to face the fact that things were changing quickly.
I made it my mission to reset the chain of events the rest of the day by doing exactly what I always did. If this day started the same as any other day, it meant it’d end the same too.
The sting of the new tattoo, the throbbing pain through my muscles after working out—and mostly the burning memory of Rome sliding in and out of me while he ravaged my mouth—were memories that needed to be forgotten.
Especially when he’d left me this morning without a word. Especially since we were probably back to where we’d started, and that was nowhere at all.
Especially since I wanted more, and I didn’t exactly know why.
I argued with Dante the whole way back to my apartment. “This isn’t anyone else’s life, Dante. I’m doing what I want and I have commitments, a job. I’m not going straight to Bastian’s.”
“He’s going to be pissed.”
“He’s going to be pissed I went to work out too. So, what’s a couple more places? I have a week or two to get things in order. They got eyes on me. Go do your thing. We’ll all be back together later anyway.”
He sighed and I knew I had won the fight. He dropped me off at my apartment, and I got to avoid the drastic change to my life a little longer.
One week passed of Bastian and I being spotted here and there. We had dinner. We frequented a bar. We appeared as though we were dating. It was nothing over the top, but the few times Rome came with us to watch our backs, his eyes would meet mine, and my stomach would plummet.
Rome never said a word. He didn’t even blink twice when Bastian would grab my hand or lean close to appear as though he had something intimate to share with me.
I stared at myself in the mirror a few days later and changed the bandaging over my tattoo before I pulled on a black crop top that barely covered it. After fluffing up my hair with a bit of cream, I added a dash of lip gloss. I didn’t look bad. My curves were always on display, my skin was always clear of blemishes, and I liked to think men found me attractive. Still, Rome didn’t say a word to me after that night.
He clearly had amnesia, and I was about to get it too. I didn’t need to worry about a guy who never worried about me.
I hopped on the bus and went to my job at the coffee shop where I’d worked all through college. I’d graduated, good grades and all, and moved into the city with Georgie, but it didn’t stop me from doing what I always had. Graduating was supposed to be this monumental time where I went off and got the job of my dreams, where I became a real adult, and where I was finally out on my own. College was supposed to be a stepping stone into adulthood. After graduation, though, nothing monumental happened. No mountain moved, and no river parted.
I’d been navigating on my own for so long, a diploma wasn’t going to change anything.
I got to the shop and threw on the royal-purple apron. I turned on the machines Jackie hadn’t started yet and let the low hum of music rock me into my usual routine. It was my little slice of normal. Jackie ran the shop and concocted me a perfect caffeine fix whenever I walked in.
“New drink for you!” she announced, bouncing with excitement when I returned from the store room. “Also, look who stopped in.”
I glanced over and saw the only girlfriends I kept in touch with, Brey and Vick, munching on some granola.
“Bastian called Jett this week,” Vick, a bubbly dose of blonde fairy, announced. Jett was the owner of Stonewood Enterprises and Vick’s husband. She threw an oat cluster into her mouth and crunched on it way harder than necessary.