He shifted in his seat. “I’m starting to think this trip is going to be more difficult than I thought for reasons I wasn’t expecting.”
I knew what he was referring to. I didn’t ask what he meant or acknowledge his statement. I figured if we didn’t say it out loud, the desire and chemistry between us might disappear.
After my long beat of silence, he relaxed back into his seat. “What’s your lesson for the day?”
I rolled my eyes. Whenever he saw me doodling in my planner, he asked. This planner contained inspirational quotes that I tried to live by because they were like little dares to succeed that I couldn’t pass up. “Endings are just new beginnings.”
For the first time on that flight, the corners of his mouth lifted high enough that his eyes sparkled. “Now, that’s the truth.”
“Yeah, maybe.” I grabbed my phone and pulled up an e-mail. “I got the script for the last takes here in Greenville. The crew will arrive to film in three weeks. We need to practice your scenes with Lela. Are you okay with that?”
“Sure. Want to act out all the scenes?” One of his eyebrows raised like he was taunting me.
Of course those scenes had kissing.
I busied myself with lifting the folding table in front of me and sliding the latch into place. “We’ll practice what needs practice. We need to make sure you’re ready to film.”
He leaned his head back on the seat and closed his eyes. “I’ll be fine with filming. I know this part. I just need you there to make sure everything goes off without a hitch.”
“I’ll be there for what you need, Jay.” I didn’t promise anything more than I could. I was going to try to stick out the month but I considered leaving him once he was settled.
“Mmhmm. I can practically hear the cogs in your brain turning.” He didn’t even crack open an eye to check. “You’re staying and we’re working through our problems together.”
“I don’t have the types of problems you do,” I blurted out.
“Don’t you, though? You’re in a relationship you think you can change. I thought I could change my drug use at any point. You’re hoping things will get better. I promised myself they would too. You keep going back to the one damn thing that’s hurting you, and I can only imagine the ways in which he’s hurt you, Meek.” He didn’t lift his head or open his eyes, but he’d folded his hands together. The tips of his fingers were white from trying to keep his emotions bottled up. “I kept going back to the partying and alcohol and cocaine. I’m not even sure I’m done going back.”
“Jay, I know it’s hard…”
“You do because you’re doing the same thing. Unhealthy relationships are forms of addiction. I know it’s hard to leave; I know you’ll consider going back. I know because I’m doing the same thing. We got through LA together. And we got buried in this toxic hole. I’m digging us out, Meek. You can grab a shovel and help or lay there and watch. Either way, I got you.”
I leaned my head on his shoulder, wanting to say something, but the words were caught in my throat.
My body melted as I sat there with him and I became pliant in my soul’s desire for him. He’d come back from rehab as strong a friend as he always had been but also more appealing than ever. I couldn’t control my pull toward the man that was only supposed to be my friend when my heart warmed in his presence.
We touched down and collected our suitcases. Jay navigated me through the small airport, one he’d visited countless times.
“Do you know the bed and breakfast we’re staying at?”
“It’s Greenville, Meek. It might be the tiniest town you’ve ever set foot in.” He chuckled. “I know everything about everything there.”
I wrinkled my nose. As we stepped outside and handed off our bags to the driver, the brisk air hit me. I smelled small town already and I wasn’t sure I liked it. I’d grown up in San Francisco and moved to LA. I didn’t understand how the other side lived. I liked the desert sun, people who accepted small diverse women like myself, and the hustle and bustle of a big city. No one paid attention to you in the mass; you had to propel yourself forward on your own steam. If you failed, no one noticed, and if you succeeded, you’d done so in front of millions.
I straightened my blouse and entered the SUV. “Are you alright with the bed and breakfast being familiar? Should we have rented an Airbnb?”
He outright laughed at the notion. “Greenville doesn’t do that type of stuff.” He shrugged. “I don’t mind Lorraine, the owner. It’s better than being twenty miles out or staying at my parents’ house. They could fly back from their vacation home at any point, and I can’t deal with that.”
I smiled, “Your parents aren’t that bad.”
“Just wait. My mom is about to give me hell, and my dad never needs to say he’s disappointed—you can just see it. It’s the businessman in him.”
“He’s retired,” I reminded him. “Your mom loves you and wants to be supportive.”
“My mom’s only mission is to make sure I get it together for my future family.”
I tilted my head in question.
“She wants me settled like my brothers. And she wants grandkids. Sooner rather than later.”