Nate’s response to that was a guttural growl. “But he scared you enough that you thought living on the streets was the better option.”
She nodded. Those weeks on the streets had been the most terrifying of her life. She must have started shivering, although she hadn’t noticed because Nate moved to sit beside her then carefully eased her onto his lap. He pulled the sheet free from the mattress and wrapped it and his arms around her.
“What happened while you were on the streets?”
“I saved up as much money as I could, but it didn't last long, and I didn't know what to do. It seemed like I had no good options, I didn't know which way to turn. Nights were the scariest, there was no safe place to sleep, I was just as scared as when I'd gone to sleep in my bed at home. I wondered if I should go back.” Everything had been so confusing those few weeks she had spent on the streets.
“What did you do?” Nate asked, his hand stroking up and down her spine, the motion soothing.
“I struggled through each day. I wanted to go to school but I couldn’t. If I'd gone back there then my father would get me back. And if he got me back, he would convince everyone that I was crazy like my mom and get me locked up.”
“How did you know he wanted you locked up?”
“He told me. All the time. He said it so many times that I actually started to believe it. Maybe he was right. Maybe I really was losing it. My mom was crazy maybe it was genetic, maybe I should have been locked up.”
“You weren’t crazy,” Nate said fiercely.
His protective tone warmed her. “No, I wasn't. But I was a scared sixteen-year-old girl with few options. And I knew the longer I stayed on the streets the fewer options I would have. I wanted an education, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to get a good job. I didn't want to spend the rest of my life on the streets, I knew what would happen to me if I did, but I didn't know how to get my education. I started to wonder whether going home and letting my father kill me was really so bad.”
Nate stiffened at her words, and reflexively clutched her tighter. She knew it was hard for him to hear that she had thought death was the best of her options, it was hard for herself to remember those days.
“Were you sure he would kill you if you went back?”
“I was positive. I’d woken up a couple of times to find him in my room holding a knife. I was terrified of him. I knew if I stayed in that house then sooner or later, he would kill me. But I also knew if I stayed on the streets, I would wind up dead sooner or later too.”
“How did you survive? How did you meet Josh?”
“I spent most of the day trying to keep out of sight. I didn't know if my dad had reported me missing so I didn't know if anyone was looking for me. Most of the time I hung out at the park. I was so hungry. Starving. I hadn’t eaten in days, and I was finally ready to give in. I knew there was only one way I was going to make money. Prostitute myself.”
Again, Nate tensed at her words. “Did anyone touch you?” His tone said that if someone did, he would find them and rip them to shreds for laying a finger on her.
“No. I was ready to do it though. I didn't want to, but I didn't see any other way to survive. I was going to do it that night. And then I met him.”
“Josh?”
“Yes. He was a youth worker and was out offering kids food, shelter, and help. Lots of kids turned him down, already the life of the streets was who they were, but I jumped at the offer. He took me to a shelter. I had a hot meal and a hot shower and clean clothes. It was heaven. I told Josh everything and he believed me. Mila and Elliot hadn’t, so that he did meant everything to me.” If Josh hadn’t believed her, it would have changed everything. She would have spent however long she lasted on the streets.
“Did you get sent back home?”
“Josh helped me get emancipated. He made sure I had a place to stay at the shelter, it wasn't the best of places, but it was way better than the streets, at least I was safe there. He made sure that I finished high school and applied to college. He was always there for me, he encouraged me, uplifted me, supported me, he was everything to me.”
“You were sixteen, how old was Josh?”
“He was twenty-six. I know it’s a big age difference, but it wasn't like that. He never took advantage of me. It was never a romantic thing between us at first. I had a crush on him, and he knew it but he never did anything about it. He was just there for me. He didn't touch me until I turned eighteen, then the friendship that had developed between us grew into something more. We got married a little before my nineteenth birthday and then soon after I got pregnant with Elianna.” Rylla knew that there were people who thought her and Josh’s relationship was inappropriate but she didn't care. They had loved each other and that was all that mattered.
“I'm glad you had him.” Nate kissed her forehead, and she felt the truth in his words.
“Josh will always be a part of me but he’s not competition to you. I can love him and Elianna, and love you and the family we could have one day.” She needed Nate to be one hundred percent in if they were going to start a relationship, she didn't want to fall in love and have her heart broken all over again. He was scared after what had happened with his ex, and she was scared after what had happened with Josh, but if they were going to be happy together, they both had to set aside their fears.
“I want a family with you, Rylla. I know we can be happy together, I can live with part of your heart belonging to Josh, he deserves that and so do you.”
She gave a content sigh and snuggled against his strong chest.
Nate shifted uncomfortably beneath her. She could feel him growing hard against her thigh. She had a feeling that this night was going to go further than either of them had anticipated. And she wanted it to.
Deliberately, Nate slid her off his lap. “You should get some rest.”
She didn't want rest. Rylla scooted closer, she wanted Nate. She wanted to make love to him. She wanted him inside her. Now. Entwining her hands around his neck she pulled him closer, whispering her lips across his. She deepened the kiss, he didn't move, didn't respond, then all of a sudden, he groaned into her mouth and was kissing her back just as passionately.