“What happened?”
“You know I was in the military before I went to work with Sam. Rachel cheated on me while I was away on tour. When I came home, she told me about it, I didn't contest the divorce, and when she asked for full custody of our son I agreed. I was going to go away again, how could I parent a child from the other side of the world? He’d be spending all his time with his mother anyway, so it seemed logical. I thought we would work out a visitation schedule when I was home and I'd get to spend a lot of time with him, but it didn't turn out that way. Rachel left the country with her new boyfriend and Andrew. She never came back. That was six years ago, I haven't seen my son since.”
“Oh, Nate, I'm so sorry.” Rylla’s eyes were full of empathy.
“I've done everything I can to try and get him back, but I have zero rights to him. Her new husband has adopted him. Rachel won't let me talk to him. She won't even send me pictures. I have no idea what he looks like now. I don’t know what his hobbies are, I don’t know how he does in school, he’s a stranger to me. I never should have given her full custody. Iwouldn’thave if I'd known what she was going to do,” he said that a little desperately. Rylla had had her child ripped away from her, he didn't want her to think that he had thrown his away.
“Of course you wouldn’t.” She squeezed his hand. “She took advantage of you and your job.”
“I felt so betrayed. How could she take away a son from his father? She told me Andrew was better off without me. That I wasn't a good dad. That I’d already been away most of his life. That I had killed people. That I wasn't the kind of man she wanted around her son and that I wouldn’t be a good influence on him as he grew older.”
Rylla muttered something under her breath that sounded like a bad word. “You didn't believe any of that garbage, did you?”
Nate shrugged. Part of himhadbelieved it. A lot of it had been true.
“She was being selfish, Nate. While you were away from your little boy risking your life to protect your country, she was cheating on you. She said those things because she knew they would hurt you and make you doubt yourself so you would give her full custody and she could run away with her new boyfriend. You are still a great dad to Andrew because you’ve never given up on him, and one day that will mean something to him.”
That meant a lot to him. “I shouldn’t have said no when you asked me out at Sam and Naomi’s wedding. I hate that I hurt you, and I’ve tried to apologize, I've liked you since we first met six years ago. I know you’d never do what Rachel did, but it’s still scary to risk your heart again after it’s taken a battering.”
“Yeah, it is,” Rylla agreed seriously.
“And that’s why I keep sending you mixed signals. I might have lost my son but he’s still alive, and I know that one day I’ll have a relationship with him. But you lost your daughter, and your husband. I hate what Rachel did, and I’ll never forgive her for taking Andrew away from me. I don’t hate her, she’s still the mother of my son, but I would never go back to her, I have no feelings for her anymore. But your husband died. You still love him.”
“I do,” Rylla acknowledged.
“Sometimes I'm not sure that you could love me and your husband at the same time. I like you, Rylla. I want to date you. But it’s scary to think that one day you could wake up and tell me that your heart is always going to belong to Josh. Rachel was never the love of my life, but you could be. And you already found the love of your life. Josh.”
“He was,” she agreed.
“So do you have room in your life for another great love?”
* * * * *
1:59 A.M.
Nate was looking at her with such uncertainty that Rylla couldn’t help but reach out and touch him. One of her hands was still encased in one of Nate’s, so she lifted her other hand and held it to his cheek. His stubble tickled her palm and she smiled, she knew the answer to Nate’s question. There wasn't a molecule of doubt. Although in a way it hurt to let go of her past and the family she would always love, it was also exciting to have hope for a happy future.
She looked him straight in the eye. “There’s space for you in my heart and in my life.”
Hope lit his deep brown eyes, making them seem like they were glowing. “You’re sure?”
“Positive.”
His eyes crinkled at the sides as he smiled, and he leaned in and kissed her, softly and sweetly.
“But, Nate, you have to find a way to be okay with the fact that Josh will always be a part of me. I don’t want to let him go, he was a good man, and I don’t ever want him to be forgotten. He saved my life.”
The smile wiped from his face, fear and concern taking its place. “Saved your life metaphorically or literally?”
“Both.” Rylla paused and took a steadying breath, she didn't like talking about that time in her life. “You know that my mom tried to poison my dad when I was fifteen.”
“Yes.”
“Well after that, things got crazy at home. Mila and Elliot were already off at college so it was just me and my dad, and he started to change. A lot. So much that I became afraid that he might end up killing me because he became convinced that I was going to try to kill him just like his wife had. Mila and Elliot didn't believe me when I told them what was going on, they thought I just didn't like Dad’s rules like a typical teenager. In the end, I didn't know what else to do so I ran away from home.”
“Did your dad ever hurt you?”
“Not really, sometimes he’d get all up in my face and shake me a little, but he never really did anything that hurt me.”