I felt a flutter of vindication as he missed with the ball bouncing off the rim and sending him hurrying after it.
“I’m playing, Mark is whining like a little girl.”
“I’m not.” Which was the wrong thing to say, and the wrong way to say it.
“What’s Mark whining about this time?” Jeff, who knew David from church and played with us regularly, said as he joined us.
“He’s got girl problems,” David said. He popped the ball out of Peyton’s hands and ran with it down the court.
We followed, Peyton and Jeff teamed up, as I was relegated to being on David’s side. I put myself between David and Jeff in an attempt to give my brother an opening to take a shot.
He leapt into the air and sunk the ball into the hoop.
“What is this high school? You take her out, you show her a good time.” Peyton threw the ball back into play.
I intercepted it and headed back around to take a shot. “I kind of fucked things up with her.”
“Language,” Jeff admonished me. He managed to also fuddle my shot.
I rolled with my back against his arm and tried to reclaim the ball.
“Right, church, sorry, man.”
“So, you messed up. If she’s worth it, apologize and try again.”
It was a little surreal having Peyton give me dating advice when he didn’t realize I was talking about his daughter.
“Do I know this woman?”
I made an indistinguishable grunt. It could have been yes, it could have been no. It definitely wasn’t ’I’m talking about your daughter.’
Peyton took a pass from Jeff and headed back down the court. I jogged after him. He was already set up for a shot before I got my ass in position.
“Chocolate and flowers,” Jeff said between pants. “Women love chocolate and flowers.”
“No way. My wife is always on a diet. She gets mad every time I bring her chocolate. I once brought home cake to surprise her and she pouted at me for a week,” David said.
“That’s the difference between wives and girlfriends. Wives expect you to pay attention and know these things. How dare you sabotage their dieting efforts? But women you are wooing, they appreciate all those little gestures of attention.”
I snagged the ball out from under Jeff. He stood with his hands on his knees and yelled through labored breath. “I give you quality dating advice and this is how you repay me?”
“He’s got a point. Flowers, candies, that kind of thing until you know what she likes. And then, make a note of what flowers they were when she gasps. Those are the ones you keep buying,” Peyton added.
“You buy your wife flowers?” David asked.
“Yeah, because she gets mad at me for buying her chocolate. You should try it. What are her favorite flowers?” Peyton asked.
David shrugged. “I don’t know. She likes purple.”
“How is it that you married the girl of your dreams and have four kids if you don’t even know what kind of flowers she likes?” My brother astounded me.
“She didn’t marry me for my ability to buy flowers. She married me for…” He cast a glance over his shoulder before grabbing his crotch and giving it a shake. “You know what I mean?”
“Language!” Jeff said again.
David held out his hands in a giving up gesture. “I didn’t say anything.”
“But seriously, how do you continue to court your wife?”