One thing is for certain: I will never stop looking for him.
“I’m so sorry, Daydream,” I repeat, not able to convey my true feelings. I wish I knew how, but I don’t. All I know is the person I love is hurt, sad, and broken, and the other person I love is missing.
The doc finds us after fixing up Princess to check over B. Once she completes her exam, she asks if I want a sedative. I don’t take one, but have her inject Bethany with a mild tranquilizer.
She’s too fucked up right now. She may hurt herself, and I can’t let that happen. I’m here and I have to protect her, even if that’s from herself.
She’ll probably end up hating me for all of this, and I can’t blame her for that. One thing I’ve come to discover, though, is that I love her a great deal more than I’d begun to realize these past weeks. She’s it for me—the one—my everything, and that includes Maverick. So she can hate me. I’ll take it, own it, and wear that badge every day of my life. But, I’m going to do whatever I have to, to make her love me like I do her, with every single beat of my cold, once-dead heart.
I love how you take care of
me. How you keep working to be
a better man. Even on days I fail
to be a better woman.
-IntentionalToday.com
The days come and go, passing me in what feels like a drug-induced haze. I let Nightmare be my strength.
I’ve been strong for the past few years. I took care of Mav when he was sick, up all night crying through fevers and puking. I took him to the hospital when he stepped on that rusty nail and held his hand and promised him the entire world to get him through his pain. I’ve been brave for him each time he’s gotten scared, but this time I just can’t do it. I need someone to be strong and brave for me, and that’s Nightmare.
He takes it in stride, letting me cry when I feel that I need to. He accepts my hits each time I blame him, and he stands still when I pound on his chest in anger. Most of all, through everything, he keeps trying and he shows me love.
He loves me so much, that if my little boy wasn’t missing, my heart would be so full, it would overflow. Through the anger consuming me over my son being taken by a rival club, I love Nightmare in return. I hold on to him for dear life and let him take the reins, knowing inside that he won’t let me drown. He can’t, because I won’t survive on my own anymore.
My cell rings, and it’s a number I’ve never seen before. “Yeah?” I answer, not in the mood to deal with spam calls. I may rip their throats out if presented with the opportunity.
“This Nightmare?” A gravelly voice replies.
“Yep, who the fuck is this?”
“I’m the one keeping your son alive.”
“Motherfucker! You better not hurt him, or I’ll—”
“You’ll do what?” he interrupts, chuckling. “You forget, I’m the one in control.”
“Fine.” My voice is dark, coated in fury, wanting to rip him to shreds as I do my best not to plead. “What the fuck do you want so I can have my kid back?”
“Oh, I’m afraid that’s not going to happen. It’s quite simple, you see. You took something from me, now I take it back.”
“What did I ever take from you?”
“Well for starters, your other club took my son.”
“I’m not responsible for that!”
“I know that, but you took something from me as well.”
“I don’t even know who the fuck you are!” I can’t stop the shouting. I’m so pissed, I feel like my head is going to explode.
“Shadow was my son, and you killed him.”
“He was at my house, threatening my woman.”
“He wouldn’t have hurt her. He was only there for the child. Like I told the women, you take a son from me, I’ll take one from you.”