“Only one way to find out, I suppose; but if how he reacted last night is any indication, my bet would be yes.” She shrugs as the rumble of bikes grow louder. “Looks like you may be finding out sooner than later.”
“Oh God.”
Carpe Diem
- Seize The Day
I take her to IHOP because what the fuck else am I supposed to do? I’m no good at this talking thing, and we damn sure need to do a lot of it. And about everything, it appears.
“I’m surprised,” she admits, sipping her coffee.
“You’re surprised? Should probably be the opposite, dontcha think?”
“I mean with you bringing me here.” She gestures to the restaurant. “I wasn’t expecting us to go anywhere or you to let me ride on the back of your bike.”
That wasn’t the smartest of moves on my part. She kept her distance until I took a turn and then she was pressed up against me. I’m still too pissed at her for it to turn me on, but I still felt something tilt in my chest having her that close to me.
“I’m too angry to be alone with you. I don’t trust myself yet, and the last thing I want to do is hurt you. Figured breakfast was a good place to start. We have a barrier between us.” I point to the table. “As for my bike, only an important woman rides back there. You being the mother of my child, I’d say that makes you pretty fucking important.”
She swallows, nodding, and I think her eyes tear up. Her gaze locks on her lap, so I can’t get a good enough look to know for sure, though. I don’t get why she’d be so upset if that’s the case.
I’m not one to sugarcoat shit; I’ve made it clear in the past. Just because she wasn’t honest with me, doesn’t mean I’m going to stop being honest with her. I’ve kept it real with her since day one. I have no reason to pussyfoot around or keep shit from her besides club business. That will never be her business.
“The fuck you expect, B? You want me to just brush it off and forgive you? That’s not how this is gonna work, baby. You may as well just bite the bullet and make peace with it now. Ain’t happenin’.”
She clears her throat, her gorgeous irises meeting mine for the first time today. “Maverick means everything to me. I thought I was doing what was best for him.”
“What, having him grow up without a father? Having him believe that I’m some shitbag that doesn’t want to be in his life? You’re a goddamn fool if you think there’s one ounce of justification or truth to either of those options.”
“You told me you weren’t cut out to be a father, Nightmare. You said it yourself, what would you do with a kid? What was I supposed to think? I was young, pregnant, and scared. My life was changing!”
“That’s just it, you didn’t fucking think. Or just maybe you would’ve discovered I wanted kids and still do. Maybe if you weren’t so goddamn selfish, you’d have let me have a chance to explain. I’d have told you that my doc made it clear I didn’t need to be too concerned with making babies. It wasn’t something I thought was an option at all or I would’ve wrapped it up. Not saying I don’t want my son, just that I would’ve protected you better.”
“I did think, I just didn’t think about you. I had to do what was best at that moment formyson. I’m sorry that I took the option away to be a father from you. I was under the impression you didn’t want kids, period. I was just some random fuck to you, Nightmare. I wasn’t stupid enough to believe you’d change your ways to be father of the year. For once in my life, I did think clearly; those thoughts just didn’t include you.”
Her words damn near cut me they’re so sharp. At least she’s finally being honest with me.
“Christ, you infuriate me. I’ve never wanted to snap someone’s neck so fucking badly as I do yours. You get that, right? That I’m enraged by what you’ve done? He’s my kid, B,my kid.”
“I’m sorry, Nightmare. I really am. If I had even an inkling of belief you wanted Maverick, I wouldn’t have ever left.”
“That’s another thing. You fucking took off and didn’t come back for years. You basically snuck off and kept my son a secret. I don’t even know what to say to you about that. I will say this, though; don’t ever think you can pick up and leave like that again. I meant what I said, Bethany, I will find you. I don’t care if I have to search until my last dying breath, you will never hidemy sonfrom me again.”
A tear falls down her cheek, and I’m a bastard because I enjoy the sight of it. I’m hurt inside, and I want to make her hurt in return. She kept the one thing I’ve always searched for, away from me—family.
Why else would I join a damn biker club? I was a Nomad to be on my own, but I always had a few brothers with me, just as fucked up as me, it seemed. I thought that life was what I’d needed all along to be happy until I started seein’ brothers getting serious and having kids. It opened my eyes to more that I was missing in my life. For years now, I could’ve had it too.
Fucking bitch.
“I won’t, I promise.”
“I have a place here. We’ll get you moved in after the wedding.”
She snorts, and my brows rise. “We’re not moving. Maverick and I have our own apartment, and I have a job that I need to show up for next week.”
“Don’t give a shit about any of it.”
“I mean it. You can meet Maverick, but we aren’t moving.”