“Of course, it matters!” Matilda snapped back at him, forgetting her place. Still the Duke kept his hand to his face and Matilda worried that he was going to ignore her or worse, tell her to leave.
“It was even before Heath met you,” he admitted finally and Matilda felt suspicion crawling in her stomach.Did he warn him away because he always intended to have me for himself?she thought, unable to stop herself from thinking of Lady Florentia’s warning.
“Why would you feel the need to do such a thing?” Matilda asked, her voice little more than a whisper. She hid her hands in the skirts of her gown even as they began to tremble with disbelief and frustration.
“Because I know my closest friends all too well,” Watson admitted, finally looking at her again. There was a grim expression on his face that Matilda did not like one bit.
“Friends? Who else did you warn away from me?”
“Heath and Timothy are well known for their love of women, and you are by far the most beautiful woman around, Matilda,” Watson explained, and he stepped across the room as if he meant to touch her, stopping himself just shy of being able to do so. Matilda kept her hands carefully pinned to her sides, not sure how she would react if he did touch her. “I did not want them to make you uncomfortable.”
“Is that it?” Matilda asked. This time it was her turn to furrow her brow and she glowered at him, unable to believe what she was hearing. “Or is it because you had designs upon me all along?”
Watson looked shocked at that, his mouth even falling open momentarily. Then he quickly caught himself and he started to shake his head. “I merely wished for you to be able to go about your business unhounded.”
“Did you do the same thing for your previous governesses?” Matilda demanded, feeling the anger rise deep inside her. Suddenly she was unable to stop herself from thinking on Lady Florentia’s visit. The woman’s words seemed far more likely to be true in that moment. “Did you warn your friends to keep their hands off them?”
Watson took a step back, looking quite dumbfounded and Matilda felt a clawing of guilt shred the pit of her stomach. Yet she was simply too angry to allow herself to back down now.
“What do you mean, Matilda?” Watson asked, his voice filled with hurt and concern. “What does any of this have to do with the previous governesses?”
“I am not the first that you have taken a fancy to, am I?” she demanded, her hands now tightening into fists, no longer shaking with terror but with pure anger. “I am just the latest entertainment to take your fancy, am I not?”
“Matilda, where is all of this coming from?” Watson asked, his voice horrified and he stepped forward, reaching out to take hold of her arm. Matilda quickly snatched herself out of the way, stepping out of his reach. She was not sure that she would be able to remain angry if she allowed him to touch her and right now it was the only thing fuelling her. “There has been nobody else for me, not since Louisa.”
Matilda flinched at the mention of his late wife and she closed her eyes, the anger washing over and calming for just a moment. But then she opened them again and all she could see was Lady Florentia’s face as she gave her warning.
“If that is true then what do you intend to do about it, Watson?” she demanded and before she could even think to stop herself, she quickly added, “Are you going to court me publicly? Will you marry me?”
The Duke’s mouth practically fell open and he looked so utterly astonished that Matilda felt the room beginning to spin.How could I ever have been so stupid?She thought, lifting her hand to her temple in an attempt to keep her head on straight. The utter shock and silence upon the Duke’s face told Matilda everything she needed to know.
Before he could correct himself or say a word, she started to sweep from the room. “I must go. I have Lady Amy’s lessons to finish.”
“Matilda! Wait!” Watson called after her but she was already halfway down the hall.
“I need some space, Your Grace, please leave me be,” she quickly called over her shoulder, relieved and perhaps a little disappointed when he did not immediately rush after her and try to stop her. All of her insecurities started to bubble up, battling each other for the top space in her mind, and she stopped around the corner to hide herself in an alcove and allow the tears to finally fall once more.
Knowing that there was no way she could face him again that evening, Matilda quickly decided it would be best to eat alone in her bedroom that night. And in the morning, well, in the morning, she might very well have an even more difficult decision to make.
Chapter 16
Dinner without Matilda was like torture. Though it was a pleasure for Watson to get some time alone with his daughter, he could not help but feel as though the chair opposite her was filled with a big, gaping blackhole where the governess ought to have been sitting.
When his daughter questioned him about where she was, he had been unable to answer, reassuring her that perhaps Miss Percival just needed some extra rest as she had looked tired when he last saw her.
Even more torturous had been the hours he had spent waiting in his study, hoping that Matilda might materialise for their usual meeting where she would report all of her findings from her day with his daughter and then they would turn to even more pleasant topics like getting to know one and other more in depth.
But she did not appear and it was well past midnight when he finally gave in and decided to head to bed.
Lying abed that night, he tossed and turned, unable to find sleep. A part of him wondered whether he ought to have even bothered to try. He would have preferred to have gone and knocked on Matilda’s door, to have demanded that they talk further or even that they have their usual meeting if only for Amy’s sake.
Yet he could not bring himself to do so, nor did he truly believe that Matilda deserved to be hounded in such a manner. For most of the night he tried to decide what it was she had truly meant in her argument, why she had been so upset regarding the previous governesses and why she had been so frustrated with him for warning his friends to stay away from his employees.
Yet a part of him could not help but see where she might have been coming from. After all, now that he thought about it, he could partly see that his warnings had not been entirely innocent. From the very first moment he had laid his eyes upon her, the Duke had been taken by her beauty and her charm and her professionalism.
How can I blame Heath for losing himself around her when I have done the very same thing?he realised with a deep and gut-wrenching sigh.
The next morning after an almost entirely sleepless night, the Duke dressed early, well before Quintin arrived to help him, and was already well on his way to Matilda’s bedroom by the time the first footsteps sounded down the hall to suggest that the maids were up and about.